I'd merge the first two paragraphs into one. While four paragraphs is accepted for lead sections, the first paragraph seems rather short, and it is often encouraged to stick to a limit of three paragraphs (take for example Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato and Prism by Katy Perry, which are both GA's, and 4 by Beyoncé, which is FA). Seems unbalanced otherwise.
Done
"Described by Cyrus as "dirty south hip-hop", Bangerz represents a musical departure from her earlier work, which she has grown to feel "disconnected" from." is a lengthy section. Try something like "Cyrus described Bangerz as a "dirty south hip-hop" album. It represents musical departure from her earlier work, which she became "disconnected" from."
Done
"The lyrical themes revolve largely around romance, which were reportedly inspired by Cyrus' former fiancé Liam Hemsworth"..... I'd have this simply say "The lyrical themes revolve largely around romance", keep such details in composition section for certain songs
Done
"It is the third-highest opening week for a female artist in 2013, behind Beyoncé by Beyoncé and Prism by Katy Perry." → "It was the third-highest opening week for a female artist in 2013, behind Beyoncé by Beyoncé and Prism by Katy Perry."
Done
I'd remove the "Three singles have been released from Bangerz thus far." bit unless it is certain that there will be no more singles from the album.
Done
Background and production
The bit on dropping record label Hollywood Records belongs in her own main article, not here
Done
The bit on cutting her hair is trivial- I'd remove it
Done
Info on a fifth album also belongs in her own main article, not here
Done
Release and artwork
Info on being engaged doesn't belong here at all
Done
Composition
The photo of Liam really isn't needed- it would be better to have a photo of someone who was involved in lyric writing, producing, composition, etc. of the album.
Done
You don't need to list how many tracks are on the album
Done
Impact
The Christina Aguilera image really isn't needed, better to if anything have someone involved in the creation of the album
Done
Per MOS:PUNCT and MOS:QUOTEMARKS, "the seismic event that ensured we’d never recall 2013 without thinking of her" should read "the seismic event that ensured we'd never recall 2013 without thinking of her" in the first paragraph after the quotebox.
Done
Track listing
All the instances were "Williams II" is used (aside from Michael L. Williams II) should just read "Williams"
Wouldn't that be confusing since Pharrell Williams is listed as a songwriter/producer, too?
Find a better source than ref#19 (Huffington Post) or remove altogether- they are known for fraudulent reports in things like politics, science, medicine, and also celebs
Done
Composition
Remove ref#21 (Huffington Post)
Done
Per WP:OVERCITE, ref#34 should only be used at the end of the "sea of blinking synths and unthawed crooning" bit in the second paragraph, at the end of the "three of which were produced by Pharrell Williams" bit in the third paragraph, and once more at the end of the third paragraph
Done
Singles
Find a better source than ref#45 (Us Weekly) or remove altogether- it is a gossip magazine
Done
Find a better source than ref#61 (Huffington Post) or remove altogether
Done
Promotion
Replace ref#69 (Daily Mail) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is a tabloid that has been repeatedly declared unreliable at WP:RSN
Done
Remove ref#78 (Metro)- it is also a tabloid
Done
Remove ref#85 (New York Daily News)- it is also a tabloid
Done
Replace ref#87 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#88 (Metro) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#88 (Mirror aka Daily Mirror) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is a tabloid
Done
Replace ref#93 (Hollywood Life) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- its reliability is questionable at best
Done
Replace ref#94 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#97 (PopCrush) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- WP:RSN has indicated it has no evidence of credibility or viable credentials
Done
Replace ref#98 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#101 (WetPaint) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- seems questionable
Done
Bangerz Tour
Replace ref#105 (New York Post) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is also a tabloid
Done
Critical reception
Remove ref#124 (New York Daily News)
Done
Accolades
Replace ref#130 (Huffington Post) with a better source or remove altogether
Done
Commercial performance
More MOS:QUOTEMARKS errors- "Cyrus’s ‘Bangerz’ Hits No. 1" should read ). "Cyrus's 'Bangerz' Hits No. 1"
Done
More WP:OVERCITE- ref#141 (Ultratop) is used excessively in the second paragraph. Just use it once at the "debuted at number four on the Portuguese Albums Chart" bit before ref#144 (Associação Fonográfica Portuguesa), and once at the "charted at number one on the Argentinian CAPIF chart and the Brazilian ABPD chart" bit before ref#145 (Yahoo).
Done
Promotion
More MOS:QUOTEMARKS errors- "Miley Cyrus Performs 'We Can’t Stop' for First Time" should read "Miley Cyrus Performs 'We Can't Stop' for First Time"
Done
Impact
Find a better source than ref#148 (Huffington Post) for establishing Miley's sexualized image
Done
Release history
These all need citations
All the citations are attached in their own separate columns at the end of each row.
Coverage
No problems here
Neutrality
No problems here
Stability
No problems here
GA Result
If the above is all addressed within the next seven days, I will pass the GAN.
Thanks so much for your review; your comments really helped me trim out some of the fluff in the article, which is easy to miss when you're writing the article the first time around! I believe I've covered everything above, and if there's anything else to be done, I will be more than happy to take care of it!
WikiRedactor (
talk)
16:35, 20 April 2014 (UTC)reply
Just take a look at how ref#93 (Miami Herald) is being displayed and address the bit on the Williams issue. After that, we're good to go!
I'd merge the first two paragraphs into one. While four paragraphs is accepted for lead sections, the first paragraph seems rather short, and it is often encouraged to stick to a limit of three paragraphs (take for example Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato and Prism by Katy Perry, which are both GA's, and 4 by Beyoncé, which is FA). Seems unbalanced otherwise.
Done
"Described by Cyrus as "dirty south hip-hop", Bangerz represents a musical departure from her earlier work, which she has grown to feel "disconnected" from." is a lengthy section. Try something like "Cyrus described Bangerz as a "dirty south hip-hop" album. It represents musical departure from her earlier work, which she became "disconnected" from."
Done
"The lyrical themes revolve largely around romance, which were reportedly inspired by Cyrus' former fiancé Liam Hemsworth"..... I'd have this simply say "The lyrical themes revolve largely around romance", keep such details in composition section for certain songs
Done
"It is the third-highest opening week for a female artist in 2013, behind Beyoncé by Beyoncé and Prism by Katy Perry." → "It was the third-highest opening week for a female artist in 2013, behind Beyoncé by Beyoncé and Prism by Katy Perry."
Done
I'd remove the "Three singles have been released from Bangerz thus far." bit unless it is certain that there will be no more singles from the album.
Done
Background and production
The bit on dropping record label Hollywood Records belongs in her own main article, not here
Done
The bit on cutting her hair is trivial- I'd remove it
Done
Info on a fifth album also belongs in her own main article, not here
Done
Release and artwork
Info on being engaged doesn't belong here at all
Done
Composition
The photo of Liam really isn't needed- it would be better to have a photo of someone who was involved in lyric writing, producing, composition, etc. of the album.
Done
You don't need to list how many tracks are on the album
Done
Impact
The Christina Aguilera image really isn't needed, better to if anything have someone involved in the creation of the album
Done
Per MOS:PUNCT and MOS:QUOTEMARKS, "the seismic event that ensured we’d never recall 2013 without thinking of her" should read "the seismic event that ensured we'd never recall 2013 without thinking of her" in the first paragraph after the quotebox.
Done
Track listing
All the instances were "Williams II" is used (aside from Michael L. Williams II) should just read "Williams"
Wouldn't that be confusing since Pharrell Williams is listed as a songwriter/producer, too?
Find a better source than ref#19 (Huffington Post) or remove altogether- they are known for fraudulent reports in things like politics, science, medicine, and also celebs
Done
Composition
Remove ref#21 (Huffington Post)
Done
Per WP:OVERCITE, ref#34 should only be used at the end of the "sea of blinking synths and unthawed crooning" bit in the second paragraph, at the end of the "three of which were produced by Pharrell Williams" bit in the third paragraph, and once more at the end of the third paragraph
Done
Singles
Find a better source than ref#45 (Us Weekly) or remove altogether- it is a gossip magazine
Done
Find a better source than ref#61 (Huffington Post) or remove altogether
Done
Promotion
Replace ref#69 (Daily Mail) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is a tabloid that has been repeatedly declared unreliable at WP:RSN
Done
Remove ref#78 (Metro)- it is also a tabloid
Done
Remove ref#85 (New York Daily News)- it is also a tabloid
Done
Replace ref#87 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#88 (Metro) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#88 (Mirror aka Daily Mirror) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is a tabloid
Done
Replace ref#93 (Hollywood Life) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- its reliability is questionable at best
Done
Replace ref#94 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#97 (PopCrush) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- WP:RSN has indicated it has no evidence of credibility or viable credentials
Done
Replace ref#98 (New York Daily News) with a more reliable source or remove altogether
Done
Replace ref#101 (WetPaint) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- seems questionable
Done
Bangerz Tour
Replace ref#105 (New York Post) with a more reliable source or remove altogether- it is also a tabloid
Done
Critical reception
Remove ref#124 (New York Daily News)
Done
Accolades
Replace ref#130 (Huffington Post) with a better source or remove altogether
Done
Commercial performance
More MOS:QUOTEMARKS errors- "Cyrus’s ‘Bangerz’ Hits No. 1" should read ). "Cyrus's 'Bangerz' Hits No. 1"
Done
More WP:OVERCITE- ref#141 (Ultratop) is used excessively in the second paragraph. Just use it once at the "debuted at number four on the Portuguese Albums Chart" bit before ref#144 (Associação Fonográfica Portuguesa), and once at the "charted at number one on the Argentinian CAPIF chart and the Brazilian ABPD chart" bit before ref#145 (Yahoo).
Done
Promotion
More MOS:QUOTEMARKS errors- "Miley Cyrus Performs 'We Can’t Stop' for First Time" should read "Miley Cyrus Performs 'We Can't Stop' for First Time"
Done
Impact
Find a better source than ref#148 (Huffington Post) for establishing Miley's sexualized image
Done
Release history
These all need citations
All the citations are attached in their own separate columns at the end of each row.
Coverage
No problems here
Neutrality
No problems here
Stability
No problems here
GA Result
If the above is all addressed within the next seven days, I will pass the GAN.
Thanks so much for your review; your comments really helped me trim out some of the fluff in the article, which is easy to miss when you're writing the article the first time around! I believe I've covered everything above, and if there's anything else to be done, I will be more than happy to take care of it!
WikiRedactor (
talk)
16:35, 20 April 2014 (UTC)reply
Just take a look at how ref#93 (Miami Herald) is being displayed and address the bit on the Williams issue. After that, we're good to go!