@
HĐ: As a huge fan of Christina Aguilera, I will definitely have to review this. Will have my comments up by the end of the week.
Aoba47 (
talk)
05:49, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Lead and infobox
The image in the infobox needs an alt.
Done
Do you have any information on genre/length off bonus content (is the length already in the infobox the entire DVD or just the concert), or the director? If so, put it in the infobox to better represent all the information about the DVD.
I think the infobox is quite comprehensive at this point
Change “fourth video release” to “fourth video album” or “live long-form video” (as done on the page for Harajuku Lovers Live) to be more specific
Done
Change “It was premiered” to “it premiered”
Done
Remove the reference to 10 pm in the lead as it is too specific for this section (which is reserved as a general overview of the article), but keep it in the “Background” section
Done
Change “released for purchase” to “released on DVD”
Done
Change “included materials” to “included material”
Done
I would reword the last sentence of the lead’s first paragraph to the following as it reads somewhat awkwardly: (It was released in conjunction with the promotion for her fifth studio album Back to Basics (2006). The DVD included material from recordings from two of Aguilera’s concerts during her Back to Basics Tour in 2007. The performances recorded in July 17 and 18, 2007 in Adelaide, Australia. Behind-the-scenes footage is included with video from the concerts.) Done
Unlink studio album as it is somewhat unnecessary. Done
I would change territories to countries as the word territories can be read somewhat ambiguously. Done
Change “In the United States, the video” to “In the United States, the DVD” Done
Background and release
Change “In order to support” to “To support” Done
What exactly about Aguilera’s vocals was praised and what exactly about the setlist was criticized? You are being very vague with this sentence so be more specific on exactly what these critics are pointing out. Done
Identify the specific dates that the show was filmed for DVD. Done
Again, change “the video” to “the DVD”. You are talking about a DVD not a video. Make sure to fix this for the entire article where necessary. Done
Rephrase the first sentence of the second paragraph to the following: (On January 26, 2008, Back to Basics: Live and Down Under premiered on VH1 at 10PM.) Keep the link to VH1. Done
Remove “first” in front of “released officially” as it is not necessary. Done
Change “A day later” to “The next day” Done
For the sentence about the Germany release, just refer to it as the DVD or it. I would use the full title in the first sentence of the second paragraph as I suggested in a previous comment instead. Dropping the full title in the middle of a paragraph is just odd and breaks the flow of the ideas/sentences. Same goes for the sentence about the Australia release. Done
Restructure the last sentence of the final paragraph as it is somewhat repetitive. You already mentioned in the first paragraph that the DVD is about the Adelaide shows so instead focus on how the DVD features the show’s “old-school style materials”. Done
Are you going to discuss anything else about the content of the DVD? You reference behind-the-scenes footage in the lead, but you do not reference it anywhere else in the article. I think adding more about the content of the DVD and possibly a little bit more about the tour and the set list would be helpful as your article is not fully representing the subject. I would suggest looking at the page for Harajuku Lovers Live to see what I mean as that is a really good model to follow).
The content is exactly the same as
Back to Basics Tour's shows, which are already mentioned in the article
Okay, my original concern was that the article was not fully representing the subject, but for the purpose of the article, it is fine as it is.
Aoba47 (
talk)
13:56, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
An image from the DVD (preferably one of Christina singing/performing on stage) would help this article a lot.
As it is non-free and the article is quite short, I don't think it's a good idea.
For the PopMatters sentence, I would say “gave the DVD a seven out of ten…”. “Damn good” is very vague and seems odd for a rating even if it is quoted from the review. Done
Remove the CD Universe review. It is not appropriate for this article and is not reliable/credible. Done
Commercial performance
Change the first sentence to the following: (The DVD was released on February 25, 2008 in Australia. It debuted and peaked at number 2 on the ARIA Music DVD Chart, where it stayed for two weeks.)
I would include a “total length” at the bottom of the track list
Personnel
Is there a reason why the personnel/credits are not included here?
Thank you for adding this, but I would move this section to directly after the "Tracklisting section" and before the sections about the charts and certifications.
Aoba47 (
talk)
14:04, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Charts
Put the charts in alphabetical order
Certifications
Great job here!
Release history
Again, great job with this section
References
Great research here. I appreciate how you archived a lot of the links.
Thanks!
Final comments
@
HĐ: This article can definitely be improved to the level of a GA, but I have to honestly tell you that it will take a lot of work as it currently has many grammatical and spelling errors, awkward sentence constructions, and is not broad enough in its coverage. I have noticed there was not much revision between the first GAN and now so please make sure to address all the comments I have made. Feel free to comment or ask questions about my review. I said this multiple times in my comments, but I would highly encourage you to look at the article for Harajuku Lovers Live or any other GA on a concert DVD to get a better understanding on how to present the information and to have a guide for the improvement for this page.
@
HĐ: Thank you for starting to address my comments; I hope my review is helpful in some way. Once you are finished with my comments, I will pass the article.
Aoba47 (
talk)
13:56, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
@
HĐ: Thank you for your quick responses and for creating such a great article and informative read. I have added a couple additional comments about the placement of the "Personnel" section and some aspects of the image. Once those are addressed in some way, then I will pass this article as a GA. Again, I am glad that I could help in anyway as I am impressed with the work put into this page.
Aoba47 (
talk)
14:16, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
@
HĐ: Thank you for your quick responses and I apologize for any mistakes or confusions that I had in the review. Great job with this article! ✓PassAoba47 (
talk)
14:40, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)
@
HĐ: As a huge fan of Christina Aguilera, I will definitely have to review this. Will have my comments up by the end of the week.
Aoba47 (
talk)
05:49, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Lead and infobox
The image in the infobox needs an alt.
Done
Do you have any information on genre/length off bonus content (is the length already in the infobox the entire DVD or just the concert), or the director? If so, put it in the infobox to better represent all the information about the DVD.
I think the infobox is quite comprehensive at this point
Change “fourth video release” to “fourth video album” or “live long-form video” (as done on the page for Harajuku Lovers Live) to be more specific
Done
Change “It was premiered” to “it premiered”
Done
Remove the reference to 10 pm in the lead as it is too specific for this section (which is reserved as a general overview of the article), but keep it in the “Background” section
Done
Change “released for purchase” to “released on DVD”
Done
Change “included materials” to “included material”
Done
I would reword the last sentence of the lead’s first paragraph to the following as it reads somewhat awkwardly: (It was released in conjunction with the promotion for her fifth studio album Back to Basics (2006). The DVD included material from recordings from two of Aguilera’s concerts during her Back to Basics Tour in 2007. The performances recorded in July 17 and 18, 2007 in Adelaide, Australia. Behind-the-scenes footage is included with video from the concerts.) Done
Unlink studio album as it is somewhat unnecessary. Done
I would change territories to countries as the word territories can be read somewhat ambiguously. Done
Change “In the United States, the video” to “In the United States, the DVD” Done
Background and release
Change “In order to support” to “To support” Done
What exactly about Aguilera’s vocals was praised and what exactly about the setlist was criticized? You are being very vague with this sentence so be more specific on exactly what these critics are pointing out. Done
Identify the specific dates that the show was filmed for DVD. Done
Again, change “the video” to “the DVD”. You are talking about a DVD not a video. Make sure to fix this for the entire article where necessary. Done
Rephrase the first sentence of the second paragraph to the following: (On January 26, 2008, Back to Basics: Live and Down Under premiered on VH1 at 10PM.) Keep the link to VH1. Done
Remove “first” in front of “released officially” as it is not necessary. Done
Change “A day later” to “The next day” Done
For the sentence about the Germany release, just refer to it as the DVD or it. I would use the full title in the first sentence of the second paragraph as I suggested in a previous comment instead. Dropping the full title in the middle of a paragraph is just odd and breaks the flow of the ideas/sentences. Same goes for the sentence about the Australia release. Done
Restructure the last sentence of the final paragraph as it is somewhat repetitive. You already mentioned in the first paragraph that the DVD is about the Adelaide shows so instead focus on how the DVD features the show’s “old-school style materials”. Done
Are you going to discuss anything else about the content of the DVD? You reference behind-the-scenes footage in the lead, but you do not reference it anywhere else in the article. I think adding more about the content of the DVD and possibly a little bit more about the tour and the set list would be helpful as your article is not fully representing the subject. I would suggest looking at the page for Harajuku Lovers Live to see what I mean as that is a really good model to follow).
The content is exactly the same as
Back to Basics Tour's shows, which are already mentioned in the article
Okay, my original concern was that the article was not fully representing the subject, but for the purpose of the article, it is fine as it is.
Aoba47 (
talk)
13:56, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
An image from the DVD (preferably one of Christina singing/performing on stage) would help this article a lot.
As it is non-free and the article is quite short, I don't think it's a good idea.
For the PopMatters sentence, I would say “gave the DVD a seven out of ten…”. “Damn good” is very vague and seems odd for a rating even if it is quoted from the review. Done
Remove the CD Universe review. It is not appropriate for this article and is not reliable/credible. Done
Commercial performance
Change the first sentence to the following: (The DVD was released on February 25, 2008 in Australia. It debuted and peaked at number 2 on the ARIA Music DVD Chart, where it stayed for two weeks.)
I would include a “total length” at the bottom of the track list
Personnel
Is there a reason why the personnel/credits are not included here?
Thank you for adding this, but I would move this section to directly after the "Tracklisting section" and before the sections about the charts and certifications.
Aoba47 (
talk)
14:04, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Charts
Put the charts in alphabetical order
Certifications
Great job here!
Release history
Again, great job with this section
References
Great research here. I appreciate how you archived a lot of the links.
Thanks!
Final comments
@
HĐ: This article can definitely be improved to the level of a GA, but I have to honestly tell you that it will take a lot of work as it currently has many grammatical and spelling errors, awkward sentence constructions, and is not broad enough in its coverage. I have noticed there was not much revision between the first GAN and now so please make sure to address all the comments I have made. Feel free to comment or ask questions about my review. I said this multiple times in my comments, but I would highly encourage you to look at the article for Harajuku Lovers Live or any other GA on a concert DVD to get a better understanding on how to present the information and to have a guide for the improvement for this page.
@
HĐ: Thank you for starting to address my comments; I hope my review is helpful in some way. Once you are finished with my comments, I will pass the article.
Aoba47 (
talk)
13:56, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
@
HĐ: Thank you for your quick responses and for creating such a great article and informative read. I have added a couple additional comments about the placement of the "Personnel" section and some aspects of the image. Once those are addressed in some way, then I will pass this article as a GA. Again, I am glad that I could help in anyway as I am impressed with the work put into this page.
Aoba47 (
talk)
14:16, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
@
HĐ: Thank you for your quick responses and I apologize for any mistakes or confusions that I had in the review. Great job with this article! ✓PassAoba47 (
talk)
14:40, 22 March 2016 (UTC)reply
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)