I have finished my review. This article is very close to meeting the GA criteria, and has only a few issues that should be easy to fix. I will hold this article for up to a week to give the editors time to work on the article.
Aaron north (
talk)
03:27, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
only minor citation issues. Overall, the use of primary sources seem to be used carefully where appropriate (facts and statements of official positions), the analysis in the article is referenced using journals and secondary scholarly work.
The following is a list of concerns that I believe need to be satisfied to pass review. If you disagree or believe I made an error, please point that out too.
Aaron north (
talk)
03:27, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I am confused about the caption under the Assemblies of God logo. What is the relevance of that phrase? I'm not sure that a caption is necessary at all for the logo in the infobox at the top.
OK, if you can cite that and make it clear that it is the AG motto that should be fine. As it is, it looks like a random phrase placed under the picture with no explanation.
Aaron north (
talk)
22:57, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I've removed it. My source is Poloma. She Mentions it in Crossroads, but I don't see it anywhere on the AG's website. It's on the Pentecostal Evangels website though. I think it looks better without the caption anyway.
Ltwin (
talk)
21:31, 12 October 2010 (UTC)reply
internet references need both a link and an accessed date. Most of them do, but some dont.
This sentence is a little awkward (and too informal) and should be improved. ("Around the same time African Americans were officially being barred from ordination, women were being given greater opportunities for leadership.")
hmmm... if I was editing it, I think I'd just simplify it. The sentence is a bit cumbersome. Maybe just "During the time when African Americans were barred from ordination, women began to receive greater opportunities for leadership". There's many other ways to rephrase it, its just that "were being barred" and "were being given" are both awkward.
Aaron north (
talk)
22:57, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
The following is a list of other thoughts or suggestions to improve the article. It is not necessary to satisfy these points to meet the GA criteria.
Aaron north (
talk)
03:27, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I notice you cite a couple books extensively. That is fine, but it may look better if referenced books are listed in a seperate section. One example is to use "references" to list all the details of the books used, and use a "notes" section for all the page numbers and other newspaper, web, etc citations.
WP:CITESHORT includes this example. I don't think this is a requirement for the GA criteria, but it would make the references more concise and clear.
More free or fair use images might be useful. Specifically, one interesting (to me) aspect of the article is the apparently significant differences between the style of local services. We basically have one image of a mega-church, perhaps it could be contrasted with a picture of a smaller more intimate service, and/or singing?
Yes I will try to find what I can. In general all AG churches would be considered low church, but the style can differ. Some churches go the ultra contemporary route - lights, very contemporary music. Others go the more traditional route - standard church architecture and may blend praise and worship music with hymns. Some churches give a lot of freedom for the congregation to exercise spiritual gifts and exuberant or enthusiastic praise, while others have chosen to place a lot less emphasis on public display of spiritual gifts and enthusiasm structuring their church services where this is discouraged. I will try to find a picture that is representative of a more "average sized" AG congregation.
I found some very nice images from Wikimedia Commons, mostly of building exteriors. I didn't find any pictures inside more modest churches. However, I found a picture of an AG Hispanic church and day school which makes a great addition to the History section on women and minorities. Also, I found a great picture of the national headquarters which I added to the Structure section.
Ltwin (
talk)
18:17, 14 October 2010 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I have finished my review. This article is very close to meeting the GA criteria, and has only a few issues that should be easy to fix. I will hold this article for up to a week to give the editors time to work on the article.
Aaron north (
talk)
03:27, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
only minor citation issues. Overall, the use of primary sources seem to be used carefully where appropriate (facts and statements of official positions), the analysis in the article is referenced using journals and secondary scholarly work.
The following is a list of concerns that I believe need to be satisfied to pass review. If you disagree or believe I made an error, please point that out too.
Aaron north (
talk)
03:27, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I am confused about the caption under the Assemblies of God logo. What is the relevance of that phrase? I'm not sure that a caption is necessary at all for the logo in the infobox at the top.
OK, if you can cite that and make it clear that it is the AG motto that should be fine. As it is, it looks like a random phrase placed under the picture with no explanation.
Aaron north (
talk)
22:57, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I've removed it. My source is Poloma. She Mentions it in Crossroads, but I don't see it anywhere on the AG's website. It's on the Pentecostal Evangels website though. I think it looks better without the caption anyway.
Ltwin (
talk)
21:31, 12 October 2010 (UTC)reply
internet references need both a link and an accessed date. Most of them do, but some dont.
This sentence is a little awkward (and too informal) and should be improved. ("Around the same time African Americans were officially being barred from ordination, women were being given greater opportunities for leadership.")
hmmm... if I was editing it, I think I'd just simplify it. The sentence is a bit cumbersome. Maybe just "During the time when African Americans were barred from ordination, women began to receive greater opportunities for leadership". There's many other ways to rephrase it, its just that "were being barred" and "were being given" are both awkward.
Aaron north (
talk)
22:57, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
The following is a list of other thoughts or suggestions to improve the article. It is not necessary to satisfy these points to meet the GA criteria.
Aaron north (
talk)
03:27, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I notice you cite a couple books extensively. That is fine, but it may look better if referenced books are listed in a seperate section. One example is to use "references" to list all the details of the books used, and use a "notes" section for all the page numbers and other newspaper, web, etc citations.
WP:CITESHORT includes this example. I don't think this is a requirement for the GA criteria, but it would make the references more concise and clear.
More free or fair use images might be useful. Specifically, one interesting (to me) aspect of the article is the apparently significant differences between the style of local services. We basically have one image of a mega-church, perhaps it could be contrasted with a picture of a smaller more intimate service, and/or singing?
Yes I will try to find what I can. In general all AG churches would be considered low church, but the style can differ. Some churches go the ultra contemporary route - lights, very contemporary music. Others go the more traditional route - standard church architecture and may blend praise and worship music with hymns. Some churches give a lot of freedom for the congregation to exercise spiritual gifts and exuberant or enthusiastic praise, while others have chosen to place a lot less emphasis on public display of spiritual gifts and enthusiasm structuring their church services where this is discouraged. I will try to find a picture that is representative of a more "average sized" AG congregation.
I found some very nice images from Wikimedia Commons, mostly of building exteriors. I didn't find any pictures inside more modest churches. However, I found a picture of an AG Hispanic church and day school which makes a great addition to the History section on women and minorities. Also, I found a great picture of the national headquarters which I added to the Structure section.
Ltwin (
talk)
18:17, 14 October 2010 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.