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Reviewer: Lythronaxargestes ( talk · contribs) 05:26, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi, I can review this article.
A few things that stand out to me... the correct title for this page, assuming Arktocara yakataga is the correct species, is Arktocara per
WP:MONOTYPICFAUNA. Also, you need the {{
italictitle}} template to make the title italicized.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:26, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Also, any reason for not having a separate taxonomy/classification section? There would certainly be room for the phylogeny inline if you made a separate section, which could be filled in by some further commentary on phylogeny. There's also some stuff that should go in "Paleoecology" (not "Ecology", per convention), namely the dating. On that note, this section needs some info on contemporary animals, if possible.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:44, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
I fail to see the purpose of the caption "The images detail over the anatomy of the skull and label the structures", especially given its odd placement.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:46, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Consider formatting 1.9 by 1.6 to 2.1 centimetres (0.75 by 0.63 to 0.83 in) => 1.9 centimetres (0.75 in) by 1.6-2.1 centimetres (0.63-0.83 in). Very unclear otherwise.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:47, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
{{
fossilrange}} should be used for the taxobox, and I recommend {{
automatic taxobox}} instead of {{
taxobox}}. Also, per my editing experience, fossil images are generally preferred over life reconstructions for the taxobox.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:47, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...] it also had a long neck, as identified by the large, unfused cervical vertebrae in the neck" Not immediately obvious that large = long, although you go on to contrast it with "short" vertebrae. Consider rewording.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
If the paper mentions how the size was estimated, and why the comparison with P. gangetica is justified in terms of size, please include it. Also, since you've given a measurement, "It may have had a similar size to [...]" makes no sense - consider removing "may have". This sentence should also be moved to right after the estimate is given; it's choppy otherwise.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
"It further differed in that it [...]" Differed from what? Not immediately obvious.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
You use "Unlike other platanistoids, [...]" twice. Also, split the differences into individual sentences, and discuss them a little more.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:26, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Any specimen number given?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
I think it's better to introduce the specimen first, and then talk about etymology.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
""Yakataga" translates from the Tlingit language to "canoe road"" - do you mean "[...] translates to "canoe road" in the Tlingit language"?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
*One drive-by comment, since the map of the formation isn't a "range-map" by any stretch of the imagination, it probably belongs in the paleoecology section rather than the taxobox field for range maps.
FunkMonk (
talk) 21:49, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
"The specimen, an incomplete skull [...]" This makes no sense because you have not introduced the specimen yet. Just mention that an incomplete skull was collected. Also, this makes the later sentence "The type specimen, the only specimen, was discovered in the Poul Creek Formation, and consists only of the cranium." partly redundant, so that should be merged.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"Cranium" is too jargony, just use "skull".
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...] lacked the bony structure on the ventral (bottom side) of the skull." What bony structure?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"It did not have a large tympanosquamosal recess" Small, or absent? Clarify.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
The description should be re-ordered so that it addresses the traits of the skull from front to back. I suppose the paper doesn't do that, but this article needs the clarity.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
The second paragraph of Paleoecology should be split into a Paleobiology section, and should come before.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...] it is speculated that ancient platanistoids" Weasel wording, reword.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
Genus needs a genus-authority in the taxobox.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 01:07, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
Looking at the article again, I think Classification can be reverted to its original title Taxonomy.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 02:19, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
Also, at the end of that section: "[...] more than 25 teeth" Where? Top jaw? Bottom jaw? Premaxilla?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 02:19, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
While you're working on images, the cladogram still is bothering me - why is the node Allodelphinidae labelled using a bar instead of the label attribute? And why is it in a box (which cuts into and distracts from Discovery and naming)? Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...]which separates the frontal bone from the nasal bone, was U-shaped" Missing a period. Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
Reading through the paper. Maybe mention that the holotype was mature (as inferred from the sutures). Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
Some discussion of how Arktocara impacts platanistoid phylogeny might be in order (e.g. platanistoid synapomorphies identified by previous phylogenies or the current phylogeny that it lacks in Taxonomy; its similarity to Allodelphis in either Taxonomy or Description). Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
The paper does not use the word "beak" anywhere, and I'm not sure this is a better term to use than "snout". Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
''[[Waipatia hectori]]'' is redlinked, ''[[Waipatia|Waipatia hectori]]'' is not. Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Lythronaxargestes ( talk · contribs) 05:26, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi, I can review this article.
A few things that stand out to me... the correct title for this page, assuming Arktocara yakataga is the correct species, is Arktocara per
WP:MONOTYPICFAUNA. Also, you need the {{
italictitle}} template to make the title italicized.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:26, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Also, any reason for not having a separate taxonomy/classification section? There would certainly be room for the phylogeny inline if you made a separate section, which could be filled in by some further commentary on phylogeny. There's also some stuff that should go in "Paleoecology" (not "Ecology", per convention), namely the dating. On that note, this section needs some info on contemporary animals, if possible.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:44, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
I fail to see the purpose of the caption "The images detail over the anatomy of the skull and label the structures", especially given its odd placement.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:46, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Consider formatting 1.9 by 1.6 to 2.1 centimetres (0.75 by 0.63 to 0.83 in) => 1.9 centimetres (0.75 in) by 1.6-2.1 centimetres (0.63-0.83 in). Very unclear otherwise.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:47, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
{{
fossilrange}} should be used for the taxobox, and I recommend {{
automatic taxobox}} instead of {{
taxobox}}. Also, per my editing experience, fossil images are generally preferred over life reconstructions for the taxobox.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 05:47, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...] it also had a long neck, as identified by the large, unfused cervical vertebrae in the neck" Not immediately obvious that large = long, although you go on to contrast it with "short" vertebrae. Consider rewording.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
If the paper mentions how the size was estimated, and why the comparison with P. gangetica is justified in terms of size, please include it. Also, since you've given a measurement, "It may have had a similar size to [...]" makes no sense - consider removing "may have". This sentence should also be moved to right after the estimate is given; it's choppy otherwise.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
"It further differed in that it [...]" Differed from what? Not immediately obvious.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
You use "Unlike other platanistoids, [...]" twice. Also, split the differences into individual sentences, and discuss them a little more.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:26, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
Any specimen number given?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
I think it's better to introduce the specimen first, and then talk about etymology.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
""Yakataga" translates from the Tlingit language to "canoe road"" - do you mean "[...] translates to "canoe road" in the Tlingit language"?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 21:25, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
*One drive-by comment, since the map of the formation isn't a "range-map" by any stretch of the imagination, it probably belongs in the paleoecology section rather than the taxobox field for range maps.
FunkMonk (
talk) 21:49, 19 November 2017 (UTC)
"The specimen, an incomplete skull [...]" This makes no sense because you have not introduced the specimen yet. Just mention that an incomplete skull was collected. Also, this makes the later sentence "The type specimen, the only specimen, was discovered in the Poul Creek Formation, and consists only of the cranium." partly redundant, so that should be merged.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"Cranium" is too jargony, just use "skull".
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...] lacked the bony structure on the ventral (bottom side) of the skull." What bony structure?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"It did not have a large tympanosquamosal recess" Small, or absent? Clarify.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
The description should be re-ordered so that it addresses the traits of the skull from front to back. I suppose the paper doesn't do that, but this article needs the clarity.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
The second paragraph of Paleoecology should be split into a Paleobiology section, and should come before.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...] it is speculated that ancient platanistoids" Weasel wording, reword.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 17:46, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
Genus needs a genus-authority in the taxobox.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 01:07, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
Looking at the article again, I think Classification can be reverted to its original title Taxonomy.
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 02:19, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
Also, at the end of that section: "[...] more than 25 teeth" Where? Top jaw? Bottom jaw? Premaxilla?
Lythronaxargestes (
talk |
contribs) 02:19, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
While you're working on images, the cladogram still is bothering me - why is the node Allodelphinidae labelled using a bar instead of the label attribute? And why is it in a box (which cuts into and distracts from Discovery and naming)? Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
"[...]which separates the frontal bone from the nasal bone, was U-shaped" Missing a period. Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
Reading through the paper. Maybe mention that the holotype was mature (as inferred from the sutures). Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
Some discussion of how Arktocara impacts platanistoid phylogeny might be in order (e.g. platanistoid synapomorphies identified by previous phylogenies or the current phylogeny that it lacks in Taxonomy; its similarity to Allodelphis in either Taxonomy or Description). Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
The paper does not use the word "beak" anywhere, and I'm not sure this is a better term to use than "snout". Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
''[[Waipatia hectori]]'' is redlinked, ''[[Waipatia|Waipatia hectori]]'' is not. Lythronaxargestes ( talk | contribs) 05:28, 30 November 2017 (UTC)