Okay, I'll take a look and make straightforward copyedits as I go, and jot queries below - I will try to give this a big a shove to FAC as possible:
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs)
14:45, 8 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Thanks for picking this up so quickly. It seemed to me you "bombed" it with cite-needed tags, but I guess it's OK you're being tough if you think it's close to being ready to shoot for FA.
JustinTime55 (
talk)
16:16, 11 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Reviewer's notes:
Don't need inline references for uncontroversial sentences in lead
I agree that references shouldn't be needed in the lead as long as they are provided in the body, and have removed all but one of these. The thing is, you never know what some moron will think is controversial. People have objected to calling this the "first manned Apollo mission" because it didn't fly, so I kept this reference.
JustinTime55 (
talk)
17:57, 11 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Archive 1 of this talk page shows a consensus that the memorials should only apply to the entire crew, or memorials similarly applied to all three, but it's gotten bloated again with uncited, individual memorials. I'm going to move these to the Grissom, White, or Chaffee pages.
JustinTime55 (
talk)
20:44, 20 April 2016 (UTC)reply
I'm not sure I see the relevance in the books listed in the Further reading section Moved to Talk page.
I'll continue with the prose once the sourcing sorted (no point copyediting something if the facts need changing or it gets removed)
Second round of reviewer's notes:
Grissom became so frustrated with the inability of the training simulator engineers to keep up with the spacecraft changes, that he took a lemon from a tree by his house - I don't understand the significance of this...
I don't think this is just irrelevant trivia; much has been made of Grissom's comment (as he made it to his wife): "I'm going to hang it on that spacecraft;" commonly, but incorrectly taken to mean that Grissom thought "the spacecraft was a lemon", but the fact is he was upset with the simulator rather than the spacecraft. Do you really want to delete it, or should we try to explain it (possible OR problems)?
JustinTime55 (
talk)
14:52, 29 April 2016 (UTC)reply
aaah, point taken. I wasn't pointing out because it was irelevant, only that I couldn't understand the gesture - but now you point out the "lemon" inference it is obvious. The linking of "lemon" with "dud" didn't enter my consciousness while reading it...never mind.
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs)
22:51, 29 April 2016 (UTC)reply
The Lovell and Kluger reference is unformatted (presumably is
Lost Moon so needs isbn etc.)
After the fire occurred on board the Apollo 1 capsule NASA delayed .... unnecessarily wordy, i'd be happy with "After the accident NASA delayed.... "
The reason for the delay was so .. --> "This was so "
Ref needed at the end of the first para of NASA's Response section. Important too here.
No, no, no!!! This was just added by a drive-by IP user. I believe it is highly inflammatory, and non-NPOV the way it's presented here. I've moved it into the Talk page for discussion. (Just the kind of thing I was afraid would happen during a review.)
JustinTime55 (
talk)
14:52, 29 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Internal acrimony developed between NASA and North American.. - not internal, but maybe simpler as "Relations soured/worsened/deteriroated between NASA and North American...."
On the NASA side, Joseph Shea became unfit for duty in the aftermath and was removed from his position, although not fired - leaves me wanting to know why
OK, I'll look for the details (mental instability) from his article page, provided it's well cited.
I have been working here and there on this, are there additional citations that are needed, or anything else to complete the review? Thanks!
Kees08 (
talk)
06:58, 6 June 2016 (UTC)reply
Okay, I'll take a look and make straightforward copyedits as I go, and jot queries below - I will try to give this a big a shove to FAC as possible:
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs)
14:45, 8 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Thanks for picking this up so quickly. It seemed to me you "bombed" it with cite-needed tags, but I guess it's OK you're being tough if you think it's close to being ready to shoot for FA.
JustinTime55 (
talk)
16:16, 11 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Reviewer's notes:
Don't need inline references for uncontroversial sentences in lead
I agree that references shouldn't be needed in the lead as long as they are provided in the body, and have removed all but one of these. The thing is, you never know what some moron will think is controversial. People have objected to calling this the "first manned Apollo mission" because it didn't fly, so I kept this reference.
JustinTime55 (
talk)
17:57, 11 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Archive 1 of this talk page shows a consensus that the memorials should only apply to the entire crew, or memorials similarly applied to all three, but it's gotten bloated again with uncited, individual memorials. I'm going to move these to the Grissom, White, or Chaffee pages.
JustinTime55 (
talk)
20:44, 20 April 2016 (UTC)reply
I'm not sure I see the relevance in the books listed in the Further reading section Moved to Talk page.
I'll continue with the prose once the sourcing sorted (no point copyediting something if the facts need changing or it gets removed)
Second round of reviewer's notes:
Grissom became so frustrated with the inability of the training simulator engineers to keep up with the spacecraft changes, that he took a lemon from a tree by his house - I don't understand the significance of this...
I don't think this is just irrelevant trivia; much has been made of Grissom's comment (as he made it to his wife): "I'm going to hang it on that spacecraft;" commonly, but incorrectly taken to mean that Grissom thought "the spacecraft was a lemon", but the fact is he was upset with the simulator rather than the spacecraft. Do you really want to delete it, or should we try to explain it (possible OR problems)?
JustinTime55 (
talk)
14:52, 29 April 2016 (UTC)reply
aaah, point taken. I wasn't pointing out because it was irelevant, only that I couldn't understand the gesture - but now you point out the "lemon" inference it is obvious. The linking of "lemon" with "dud" didn't enter my consciousness while reading it...never mind.
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs)
22:51, 29 April 2016 (UTC)reply
The Lovell and Kluger reference is unformatted (presumably is
Lost Moon so needs isbn etc.)
After the fire occurred on board the Apollo 1 capsule NASA delayed .... unnecessarily wordy, i'd be happy with "After the accident NASA delayed.... "
The reason for the delay was so .. --> "This was so "
Ref needed at the end of the first para of NASA's Response section. Important too here.
No, no, no!!! This was just added by a drive-by IP user. I believe it is highly inflammatory, and non-NPOV the way it's presented here. I've moved it into the Talk page for discussion. (Just the kind of thing I was afraid would happen during a review.)
JustinTime55 (
talk)
14:52, 29 April 2016 (UTC)reply
Internal acrimony developed between NASA and North American.. - not internal, but maybe simpler as "Relations soured/worsened/deteriroated between NASA and North American...."
On the NASA side, Joseph Shea became unfit for duty in the aftermath and was removed from his position, although not fired - leaves me wanting to know why
OK, I'll look for the details (mental instability) from his article page, provided it's well cited.
I have been working here and there on this, are there additional citations that are needed, or anything else to complete the review? Thanks!
Kees08 (
talk)
06:58, 6 June 2016 (UTC)reply