Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
General
@
GraziePrego: hello. The review is on hold! To save us both some time I already did the minor suggestions, if you disagree on any, please do say so. — The
Blue Rider18:05, 28 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Hi @
The Blue Rider, I have finished going through your comments- there are some where I have a question about the suggestion, but other than that they are done. Many thanks for your suggestions so far.
GraziePrego (
talk)
05:12, 31 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Lead
Per
MOS:LEADSENTENCE, the first sentence should tell who the subject is. I suggest adding the actual role.
Done.
Per
MOS:LEADCITE, unless the statements are likely to be challenged the lead doesn't need in-line citations. With that in mind, remove the citaitons.
Done.
Per
MOS:INTRO, the leader does not stand as a concise version of the article and as so it should be expanded.
Done I think? Does it need more?
Remove the months of the lead.
Done.
Her being the second women to give birth while a member of the Australian parliament is not relevant for the lead.
Was she successful on the ban of the child beauty pageants?
Done, specifically said unsuccessful.
Remove wikilink from graffiti.
Done.
Why did someone vandalize her office?
The coverage doesn't give any motives- it seems odd that her office was targeted despite her being more pro-"freeing the refugees" than other members.
Why did Labor had "failed women"?
Done, explained why she said that.
Remove duplicated wikilink from Liberal.
Done.
Career after politics
Per
MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
Done.
Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
Done.
Why is Allergy and Anaphylaxis Australia the only organization that is not on the list of institutions that Burke is a chair or board member of?
Done I think? I've moved that organisation into the same paragraph as the others, if that's the fix you mean?
Style as Deputy Speaker and Speaker
Per
MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
Done.
Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
Done.
What is "straight-talking" and "death stare"? What's its relevance?
They're descriptions of her personality in exercising the Speaker's duties, are they a a bit marginally relevant? I can remove them if they're not needed..
This section is not correctly placed chronologically, it should be merged with «Time in parliament».
Is the refugee policy and food allergies the only political beliefs of her? In the other section it is mentioned she opposed those "anorexia websites" and was against child beauty pageants, for instance.
They're the beliefs she's most notable for- is this a matter of renaming the section to "prominent positions" or adding all the political beliefs that there's coverage about?
I think this section doesn't really need dates, it can easily be rewritten without them. Take for instance: In 2011, Burke made public comments expressing her opposition to the Gillard Government's 'Malaysia Solution... → Burke opposed the Gillard Government's 'Malaysia Solution...
Done, removed some dates.
Refugee policy
Per
MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
Done.
Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
Feel free to completely ignore this, I was just reading the article and thought I'd pass along some suggestions on improving the article.
Lede: Use the opening sentence to better identify the topic, perhaps by alluding to the fact she was speaker. Consider removing the word 'only' from the last sentence. Also remove the redundant citations that are already supported in the body of the article (per
MOS:LEADCITE).
Haven't reach the lead review but agreed, the first sentence should follow
MOS:LEADSENTENCE, and unless the statements are likely to be challenged the lead doesn't need in-line citations.— The
Blue Rider12:33, 27 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Consider merging the 'Early life' and 'Entry into politics' sections.
I wouldn't say her career between 20-31 years old is early life but a «Career» section that encompassed all other career-related sections could be created — The
Blue Rider12:33, 27 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Time in parliament: Consider making the section more concise (see
WP:PL).
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
General
@
GraziePrego: hello. The review is on hold! To save us both some time I already did the minor suggestions, if you disagree on any, please do say so. — The
Blue Rider18:05, 28 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Hi @
The Blue Rider, I have finished going through your comments- there are some where I have a question about the suggestion, but other than that they are done. Many thanks for your suggestions so far.
GraziePrego (
talk)
05:12, 31 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Lead
Per
MOS:LEADSENTENCE, the first sentence should tell who the subject is. I suggest adding the actual role.
Done.
Per
MOS:LEADCITE, unless the statements are likely to be challenged the lead doesn't need in-line citations. With that in mind, remove the citaitons.
Done.
Per
MOS:INTRO, the leader does not stand as a concise version of the article and as so it should be expanded.
Done I think? Does it need more?
Remove the months of the lead.
Done.
Her being the second women to give birth while a member of the Australian parliament is not relevant for the lead.
Was she successful on the ban of the child beauty pageants?
Done, specifically said unsuccessful.
Remove wikilink from graffiti.
Done.
Why did someone vandalize her office?
The coverage doesn't give any motives- it seems odd that her office was targeted despite her being more pro-"freeing the refugees" than other members.
Why did Labor had "failed women"?
Done, explained why she said that.
Remove duplicated wikilink from Liberal.
Done.
Career after politics
Per
MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
Done.
Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
Done.
Why is Allergy and Anaphylaxis Australia the only organization that is not on the list of institutions that Burke is a chair or board member of?
Done I think? I've moved that organisation into the same paragraph as the others, if that's the fix you mean?
Style as Deputy Speaker and Speaker
Per
MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
Done.
Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
Done.
What is "straight-talking" and "death stare"? What's its relevance?
They're descriptions of her personality in exercising the Speaker's duties, are they a a bit marginally relevant? I can remove them if they're not needed..
This section is not correctly placed chronologically, it should be merged with «Time in parliament».
Is the refugee policy and food allergies the only political beliefs of her? In the other section it is mentioned she opposed those "anorexia websites" and was against child beauty pageants, for instance.
They're the beliefs she's most notable for- is this a matter of renaming the section to "prominent positions" or adding all the political beliefs that there's coverage about?
I think this section doesn't really need dates, it can easily be rewritten without them. Take for instance: In 2011, Burke made public comments expressing her opposition to the Gillard Government's 'Malaysia Solution... → Burke opposed the Gillard Government's 'Malaysia Solution...
Done, removed some dates.
Refugee policy
Per
MOS:PARA, I suggest the junction of one-sentence or very short paragraphs.
Done.
Per the comments of GMH Melborune, join a couple of paragraph and remove the overly descriptive dates.
Feel free to completely ignore this, I was just reading the article and thought I'd pass along some suggestions on improving the article.
Lede: Use the opening sentence to better identify the topic, perhaps by alluding to the fact she was speaker. Consider removing the word 'only' from the last sentence. Also remove the redundant citations that are already supported in the body of the article (per
MOS:LEADCITE).
Haven't reach the lead review but agreed, the first sentence should follow
MOS:LEADSENTENCE, and unless the statements are likely to be challenged the lead doesn't need in-line citations.— The
Blue Rider12:33, 27 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Consider merging the 'Early life' and 'Entry into politics' sections.
I wouldn't say her career between 20-31 years old is early life but a «Career» section that encompassed all other career-related sections could be created — The
Blue Rider12:33, 27 October 2023 (UTC)reply
Time in parliament: Consider making the section more concise (see
WP:PL).