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What was the verdict on the class's utility? What advantages or disadvantages did the smaller design have?
Added a bit on this.
That's good. But I think you should start a new paragraph at "The ships, much smaller than their ...", since that's a different time perspective than the preceding text.
Sure.
Was the class's minimal use in WWI purely due to being a pre-dreadnought, or were there other factors too?
They were too old and weak to be front line warships.
What effect if any did the class have on later Italian battleship design?
Essentially none whatsoever.
What exactly happened to the two ships - the article text says "subsequently discarded" - does this mean scrapped, scuttled, used as target practice, something else?
The sources are unclear - presumably scrapped, but I don't know for sure.
Okay. I guess "discarded" is a fitting word for this class ...
However I just noticed that the infobox says "Scrapped: 2". Since that's not known for sure, is there a more generic entry such as "Retired" that can be used here?
Fixed now.
Specific comments regarding style:
There is inconsistent use between forms like "10-inch" (in the lead and infobox) and "10 in" (elsewhere).
Units should be written in full at the first use and abbreviated thereafter.
Okay. "Millimeter" is never spelled out - does the first use of "meter" cover that?
It's now spelled out in the lead.
There are inconsistent numbers in metric equivalents: "10-inch (254 mm)" in some places and "10 in (250 mm)" in others; "2.75 in (69.9 mm)" versus "2.75 in (70 mm)" and so on.
Errors in the convert template coding - should be fixed now.
The 69.9 vs 70 one is still there. Also, I just noticed "3,400–5,500 nautical miles (6,297–10,186 km)" - the metric equivalents shouldn't show more significant digits than the English original figures.
Both fixed.
Good. However I see that the range in the infobox does not have an mi equivalent while the one in the text does. Intentional or an oversight?
Fixed.
There is inconsistency throughout the article in whether the English measurement is given first and the metric in parenthesis or vice versa. This is especially obvious in the "Armament" portion of the infobox. Since this is a ship from a European country, I would have expected to usually see metric first. I looked at GA article
Italian battleship Leonardo da Vinci and it seems to use metric first everywhere. Is there some MILHIST convention that you are following or is this an oversight?
The 10-inch guns were an
Armstrong Whitworth design (an earlier model of
this gun, though we have no article on it) and so should use the measurements of the manufacturer. The same goes for the 6-inch (the RN's QF Mk 1) and the 4.7-inch (the EOC Pattern M) guns.
Okay. But why not include the manufacturer in these descriptions?
Added in.
Regarding the locations in the bibliography, it is generally WP style to spell U.S. states out completely, thus "Maryland" not "MD". And "Rochester" needs a state or country.
Perhaps for prose, but not in the reference section.
Hmm, I can't find the right MOS page for this. But in any case, it should be consistent: Annapolis has a state twice but once doesn't; Indiana is abbreviated "IN" once but "In" the other time.
Should all be fixed now.
The Crawford book isn't used in a footnote, and thus should be moved to the "Further reading" section.
Done.
The ISBN for the Sondhaus book should be formatted. And you should probably use either 10-digit or 13-digit form consistently (I'm fine with 10-digit; you can use
this site to easily convert).
Done for both.
The Crawford one is still ten-digit.
Fixed.
If I think of anything else, I'll add it on.
Wasted Time R (
talk) 11:18, 10 July 2013 (UTC)reply
Thanks for reviewing the article, let me know if there's anything else that needs to be fixed.
Parsecboy (
talk) 15:30, 11 July 2013 (UTC)reply
See the few further comments above.
Wasted Time R (
talk) 01:50, 12 July 2013 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of the Military history WikiProject. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project and see a
list of open tasks. To use this banner, please see the
full instructions.Military historyWikipedia:WikiProject Military historyTemplate:WikiProject Military historymilitary history articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Ships, a project to improve all
Ship-related articles. If you would like to help improve this and other articles, please
join the project, or contribute to the
project discussion. All interested editors are welcome. To use this banner, please see the
full instructions.ShipsWikipedia:WikiProject ShipsTemplate:WikiProject ShipsShips articles
What was the verdict on the class's utility? What advantages or disadvantages did the smaller design have?
Added a bit on this.
That's good. But I think you should start a new paragraph at "The ships, much smaller than their ...", since that's a different time perspective than the preceding text.
Sure.
Was the class's minimal use in WWI purely due to being a pre-dreadnought, or were there other factors too?
They were too old and weak to be front line warships.
What effect if any did the class have on later Italian battleship design?
Essentially none whatsoever.
What exactly happened to the two ships - the article text says "subsequently discarded" - does this mean scrapped, scuttled, used as target practice, something else?
The sources are unclear - presumably scrapped, but I don't know for sure.
Okay. I guess "discarded" is a fitting word for this class ...
However I just noticed that the infobox says "Scrapped: 2". Since that's not known for sure, is there a more generic entry such as "Retired" that can be used here?
Fixed now.
Specific comments regarding style:
There is inconsistent use between forms like "10-inch" (in the lead and infobox) and "10 in" (elsewhere).
Units should be written in full at the first use and abbreviated thereafter.
Okay. "Millimeter" is never spelled out - does the first use of "meter" cover that?
It's now spelled out in the lead.
There are inconsistent numbers in metric equivalents: "10-inch (254 mm)" in some places and "10 in (250 mm)" in others; "2.75 in (69.9 mm)" versus "2.75 in (70 mm)" and so on.
Errors in the convert template coding - should be fixed now.
The 69.9 vs 70 one is still there. Also, I just noticed "3,400–5,500 nautical miles (6,297–10,186 km)" - the metric equivalents shouldn't show more significant digits than the English original figures.
Both fixed.
Good. However I see that the range in the infobox does not have an mi equivalent while the one in the text does. Intentional or an oversight?
Fixed.
There is inconsistency throughout the article in whether the English measurement is given first and the metric in parenthesis or vice versa. This is especially obvious in the "Armament" portion of the infobox. Since this is a ship from a European country, I would have expected to usually see metric first. I looked at GA article
Italian battleship Leonardo da Vinci and it seems to use metric first everywhere. Is there some MILHIST convention that you are following or is this an oversight?
The 10-inch guns were an
Armstrong Whitworth design (an earlier model of
this gun, though we have no article on it) and so should use the measurements of the manufacturer. The same goes for the 6-inch (the RN's QF Mk 1) and the 4.7-inch (the EOC Pattern M) guns.
Okay. But why not include the manufacturer in these descriptions?
Added in.
Regarding the locations in the bibliography, it is generally WP style to spell U.S. states out completely, thus "Maryland" not "MD". And "Rochester" needs a state or country.
Perhaps for prose, but not in the reference section.
Hmm, I can't find the right MOS page for this. But in any case, it should be consistent: Annapolis has a state twice but once doesn't; Indiana is abbreviated "IN" once but "In" the other time.
Should all be fixed now.
The Crawford book isn't used in a footnote, and thus should be moved to the "Further reading" section.
Done.
The ISBN for the Sondhaus book should be formatted. And you should probably use either 10-digit or 13-digit form consistently (I'm fine with 10-digit; you can use
this site to easily convert).
Done for both.
The Crawford one is still ten-digit.
Fixed.
If I think of anything else, I'll add it on.
Wasted Time R (
talk) 11:18, 10 July 2013 (UTC)reply
Thanks for reviewing the article, let me know if there's anything else that needs to be fixed.
Parsecboy (
talk) 15:30, 11 July 2013 (UTC)reply
See the few further comments above.
Wasted Time R (
talk) 01:50, 12 July 2013 (UTC)reply