"After running poorly in his track debut, he recorded" would reinforce the name, i.e. "After running poorly in his track debut, American Pharoah recorded"
"his strong wins" what made them strong? And are you just referring to the two wins in the previous sentence or others that he might have won?
Throughout, we have "Pioneerof The Nile" but our article doesn't capitalise the "The". Normally redirects are okay, but I tend to get a bit sniffy about them if they're incorrectly spelt out formal names...
Slightly confusing that Ashford Stud redirects to Coolmore Stud and in that same sentence Coolmore Stud is linked as well. In fact, in the Coolmore Stud article, Ashford Stud is linked and therefore links to itself. Perhaps a new section of the Coolmore Stud article could deal with the branches of the Coolmore Stud in more detail and the first link here to be to that subsection rather than just the main article itself.
I unlinked Coolmore, it mentions Ashford in the lead of that article. I would agree that Coolmore could be improved, but not sure if that is something we need to do here to get this article to GA??
Montanabw(talk)20:06, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
"(Zayat similarly "bought in" Pioneerof the Nile, American Pharoah's sire, for $290,000 in a 2007 yearling auction.[15])" instead of this rather awkwardly crowbarred parenthetical note mid-prose, I would make it a real actual note.
" Breeders' Futurity Stakes" yet just "Wood Memorial" (i.e. without "Stakes"). Again, is there a method or is this just an inconsistency?
Method, horse lingo - the Wood is colloquially alled the Wood or Wood Memorial, just like the Preakness is called the Preakness, not the Preakness Stakes.
Montanabw(talk)20:21, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
"creating worry amongst his connections" not sure I really like this turn of phrase. It might be useful to let our readers know that his behaviour led those who cared about his form to become worried, but I'm not sure this is the way...
General comment: should we not wait until the Belmont Stakes has been run this year, I imagine a win could substantially change the tone of the lead and some of the later career sections?
California Chrome was GA a week before the Derby last year, we updated it substantially after to get it to FAC with ongoing races added during the process ... One reason I'm pushing for GAN now, frankly, is the stamp of approval is a bit of protection against trolls and people who like to crap up articles. I'll probably request RPP in a few days, already had to for
Ahmed Zayat due to people who don't like the fellow...
Montanabw(talk)20:21, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
"with 4 wins in 10 starts" would prefer "with four wins in ten starts".
Do you mean the DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPH currently linked in footnote #4? For some reason, "format=Digital Photograph" turns to all caps when translated into a footnote. —
Vesuvius Dogg (
talk)
23:06, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
Enough for now, I'll put the article on hold, but I do have a niggling concern over what the impact of a win in the Belmont Stakes might have on this article...
The Rambling Man (
talk)
12:15, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
Thanks TRM. I understand that the Belmont will have to be added in a week, one way or the other, but I don't think we will do anything to destroy GA quality if you approve it before then. (Also, yeah, we're kind of after a
Million award... heh)
Montanabw(talk)20:21, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
I've responded to some of the questions in line above, much closer. Minor query, in note j, is "6 x 5 " a multiplication sign or an x? It should be the former...
The Rambling Man (
talk)
07:56, 1 June 2015 (UTC)reply
If you don't mind, I'll just wait until the results are in from tomorrow's race before promoting, there's not much more I can suggest that needs to be fixed right now, but I'd be happier to run it over one more time if/when the Triple Crown is secured.
The Rambling Man (
talk)
20:24, 5 June 2015 (UTC)reply
That's fine, and given the timeline, appropriate. Once the Belmont is over, either way, it will be at least a month to 6 weeks before they run him again plenty of time to get the GAN done and the article , um, stable... (ooooh! Horse Pun!)
"After running poorly in his track debut, he recorded" would reinforce the name, i.e. "After running poorly in his track debut, American Pharoah recorded"
"his strong wins" what made them strong? And are you just referring to the two wins in the previous sentence or others that he might have won?
Throughout, we have "Pioneerof The Nile" but our article doesn't capitalise the "The". Normally redirects are okay, but I tend to get a bit sniffy about them if they're incorrectly spelt out formal names...
Slightly confusing that Ashford Stud redirects to Coolmore Stud and in that same sentence Coolmore Stud is linked as well. In fact, in the Coolmore Stud article, Ashford Stud is linked and therefore links to itself. Perhaps a new section of the Coolmore Stud article could deal with the branches of the Coolmore Stud in more detail and the first link here to be to that subsection rather than just the main article itself.
I unlinked Coolmore, it mentions Ashford in the lead of that article. I would agree that Coolmore could be improved, but not sure if that is something we need to do here to get this article to GA??
Montanabw(talk)20:06, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
"(Zayat similarly "bought in" Pioneerof the Nile, American Pharoah's sire, for $290,000 in a 2007 yearling auction.[15])" instead of this rather awkwardly crowbarred parenthetical note mid-prose, I would make it a real actual note.
" Breeders' Futurity Stakes" yet just "Wood Memorial" (i.e. without "Stakes"). Again, is there a method or is this just an inconsistency?
Method, horse lingo - the Wood is colloquially alled the Wood or Wood Memorial, just like the Preakness is called the Preakness, not the Preakness Stakes.
Montanabw(talk)20:21, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
"creating worry amongst his connections" not sure I really like this turn of phrase. It might be useful to let our readers know that his behaviour led those who cared about his form to become worried, but I'm not sure this is the way...
General comment: should we not wait until the Belmont Stakes has been run this year, I imagine a win could substantially change the tone of the lead and some of the later career sections?
California Chrome was GA a week before the Derby last year, we updated it substantially after to get it to FAC with ongoing races added during the process ... One reason I'm pushing for GAN now, frankly, is the stamp of approval is a bit of protection against trolls and people who like to crap up articles. I'll probably request RPP in a few days, already had to for
Ahmed Zayat due to people who don't like the fellow...
Montanabw(talk)20:21, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
"with 4 wins in 10 starts" would prefer "with four wins in ten starts".
Do you mean the DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPH currently linked in footnote #4? For some reason, "format=Digital Photograph" turns to all caps when translated into a footnote. —
Vesuvius Dogg (
talk)
23:06, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
Enough for now, I'll put the article on hold, but I do have a niggling concern over what the impact of a win in the Belmont Stakes might have on this article...
The Rambling Man (
talk)
12:15, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
Thanks TRM. I understand that the Belmont will have to be added in a week, one way or the other, but I don't think we will do anything to destroy GA quality if you approve it before then. (Also, yeah, we're kind of after a
Million award... heh)
Montanabw(talk)20:21, 31 May 2015 (UTC)reply
I've responded to some of the questions in line above, much closer. Minor query, in note j, is "6 x 5 " a multiplication sign or an x? It should be the former...
The Rambling Man (
talk)
07:56, 1 June 2015 (UTC)reply
If you don't mind, I'll just wait until the results are in from tomorrow's race before promoting, there's not much more I can suggest that needs to be fixed right now, but I'd be happier to run it over one more time if/when the Triple Crown is secured.
The Rambling Man (
talk)
20:24, 5 June 2015 (UTC)reply
That's fine, and given the timeline, appropriate. Once the Belmont is over, either way, it will be at least a month to 6 weeks before they run him again plenty of time to get the GAN done and the article , um, stable... (ooooh! Horse Pun!)