Hello! I'll have a look at this one. Review comments to follow below soon. Moswentotalky 11:11, 3 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Overalls
Overall, this is an excellent article. It's easy to read - despite the unfamiliar names - covers all the main aspects of his life, is well-referenced to reliable sources, and meets all other GA criteria. I have a few really minor queries on the text, and then I will happily promote this to GA. Well done! Moswentotalky 11:01, 4 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Lead
(optional) "he appears on the scene" - I won't insist on this for GA, but I think this phrasing could be improved. I assume the point is that this is when he's first mentioned in extant sources...
Origin and family
(optional) Inline external links are discouraged by the MOS, so although not essential, I would suggest moving the seal info link to a note or citation
Recapture
"as the end of the one-year truce concluded after the previous failed Nicaean attack was nearing its end" - "as the end...was nearing its end". I would cut out the first "as the end"
"Strategopoulos was initially hesitant," - this might just be me, but it reads oddly without telling the reader what he was hesitant to do. E.g. "Strategopoulos was initially hesitant to take advantage of this weakness..." ?
Later life
"He is last mentioned in a document from December 1270 for the Makrinitissa Monastery" - I think the nature of this document needs to be mentioned - otherwise we might think he became a monk!
Hello and thank you for taking the time to review this article. I am glad that you found it readable and understandable, as my greatest concern was that an uninitiated reader would get lost in the tangle of names and situations. You have raised a few good points, which have been fixed. Anything else? Cheers,
Constantine ✍ 15:32, 4 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Yes, there is still one thing you lack - celebrate your GA promotion! Take care and keep up the good work, Moswentotalky 16:33, 4 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Hello! I'll have a look at this one. Review comments to follow below soon. Moswentotalky 11:11, 3 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Overalls
Overall, this is an excellent article. It's easy to read - despite the unfamiliar names - covers all the main aspects of his life, is well-referenced to reliable sources, and meets all other GA criteria. I have a few really minor queries on the text, and then I will happily promote this to GA. Well done! Moswentotalky 11:01, 4 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Lead
(optional) "he appears on the scene" - I won't insist on this for GA, but I think this phrasing could be improved. I assume the point is that this is when he's first mentioned in extant sources...
Origin and family
(optional) Inline external links are discouraged by the MOS, so although not essential, I would suggest moving the seal info link to a note or citation
Recapture
"as the end of the one-year truce concluded after the previous failed Nicaean attack was nearing its end" - "as the end...was nearing its end". I would cut out the first "as the end"
"Strategopoulos was initially hesitant," - this might just be me, but it reads oddly without telling the reader what he was hesitant to do. E.g. "Strategopoulos was initially hesitant to take advantage of this weakness..." ?
Later life
"He is last mentioned in a document from December 1270 for the Makrinitissa Monastery" - I think the nature of this document needs to be mentioned - otherwise we might think he became a monk!
Hello and thank you for taking the time to review this article. I am glad that you found it readable and understandable, as my greatest concern was that an uninitiated reader would get lost in the tangle of names and situations. You have raised a few good points, which have been fixed. Anything else? Cheers,
Constantine ✍ 15:32, 4 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Yes, there is still one thing you lack - celebrate your GA promotion! Take care and keep up the good work, Moswentotalky 16:33, 4 December 2013 (UTC)reply