I have an issue with the sentence "Unusually, Bevilacqua sent a letter directly to Mansour without communicating his intention to President Kane or any of the Detroit leaders of the Sisters of Mercy." The word "unusually" seems to be adding some bias. If it's not usual for him to have done this, perhaps more information on what is normal protocol would be helpful.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
Overall: This is a good article, with the exception of the lead, which is woefully short and does not incorporate the most defining issue of her life. The lead needs to be expanded per
MOS:LEAD. I'll put this on hold for improvements.
I put an image caption in place, I replaced a fact tag with a cite, and I believe I addressed the "unusually" issue, explaining it to the reader. I'm still considering the lead section.
Binksternet (
talk)
18:33, 16 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Thank you for addressing those issues. All that's needed now is an expansion of the lead. What is already there can stay, but there needs to be discussion of the controversy regarding the abortion stance. If I can ask a favor, please try to have this done by Thursday December 22 at the latest, because after that I'll be traveling with minimal access to a computer. I'd like to close this before I leave. –
Muboshgu (
talk)
18:47, 16 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I have an issue with the sentence "Unusually, Bevilacqua sent a letter directly to Mansour without communicating his intention to President Kane or any of the Detroit leaders of the Sisters of Mercy." The word "unusually" seems to be adding some bias. If it's not usual for him to have done this, perhaps more information on what is normal protocol would be helpful.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
Overall: This is a good article, with the exception of the lead, which is woefully short and does not incorporate the most defining issue of her life. The lead needs to be expanded per
MOS:LEAD. I'll put this on hold for improvements.
I put an image caption in place, I replaced a fact tag with a cite, and I believe I addressed the "unusually" issue, explaining it to the reader. I'm still considering the lead section.
Binksternet (
talk)
18:33, 16 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Thank you for addressing those issues. All that's needed now is an expansion of the lead. What is already there can stay, but there needs to be discussion of the controversy regarding the abortion stance. If I can ask a favor, please try to have this done by Thursday December 22 at the latest, because after that I'll be traveling with minimal access to a computer. I'd like to close this before I leave. –
Muboshgu (
talk)
18:47, 16 December 2011 (UTC)reply