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Reviewer: Bcschneider53 ( talk · contribs) 04:19, 11 June 2017 (UTC)
I'll take another Formula E article to try to trim down this Sports and Recreation backlog. Hope to have comments up within 24 hours. -- Bcschneider53 ( talk) 04:19, 11 June 2017 (UTC)
No dab/external link issues.
- "the ninth of his career, and became the first driver" -> and he became the first driver
- "Before the race e.Dams-Renault driver Sébastien Buemi" any reason not to link Buemi?
- One of the many mistakes editors make when they write quickly. Now linked. MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "his team's objective was to secure victory in Buenos Aires, accumulate as many possible points" I'd rewrite this to "his team's objective was to secure victory in Buenos Aires and accumulate as many possible points"
- "In the fourth (and final) group" I think just "In the final group" works fine.
- "Despite going slower than Turvey in the track's first sector, Di Grassi" should this be a lowercase d as it isn't the start of a sentence?
- That's correct. MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "but heavily locked his tyres which meant he qualified in second place." This almost makes me think locking tyres is worth a one-place grid penalty. Perhaps something like "but heavily locked his tyres, eventually qualifying in second place." would work better?
- "The three drivers, who were allowed to use the boost, were determined by a fan vote." I don't think the commas are necessary here, though American and British English are different so don't worry if I'm mistaken.
- "a 90 percent of change of rain was forecast before the event" Should this be "a 90 percent chance of rain"?
- "while Vergne set the fastest lap of the race so far" "so far" makes this sound more like live commentary. Perhaps "while Vergne set what was at that point the fastest lap of the race"?
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "Evans was issued with a five-second time penalty" I don't think "with" is necessary here.
- "while Rosenqvist set the race's fastest lap (and overall track record) at one minute and 9.467 seconds" should this be noted as a "race" track record since they went faster in qualifying?
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "His team was concerned over his battery overheating which Buemi stated" -> "His team was concerned over his battery overheating; Buemi stated"
No issues in the Classification sections or references that I could spot. On hold for the standard seven days. -- Bcschneider53 ( talk) 23:11, 11 June 2017 (UTC)
- @ Bcschneider53: Thank you for another review. All of the above issues have been dealt with. MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- @ MWright96: Not a problem. Great job. Pass for GA. You may well have a Good or Featured Topic on your hands if you keep this up. -- Bcschneider53 ( talk) 15:52, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Bcschneider53 ( talk · contribs) 04:19, 11 June 2017 (UTC)
I'll take another Formula E article to try to trim down this Sports and Recreation backlog. Hope to have comments up within 24 hours. -- Bcschneider53 ( talk) 04:19, 11 June 2017 (UTC)
No dab/external link issues.
- "the ninth of his career, and became the first driver" -> and he became the first driver
- "Before the race e.Dams-Renault driver Sébastien Buemi" any reason not to link Buemi?
- One of the many mistakes editors make when they write quickly. Now linked. MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "his team's objective was to secure victory in Buenos Aires, accumulate as many possible points" I'd rewrite this to "his team's objective was to secure victory in Buenos Aires and accumulate as many possible points"
- "In the fourth (and final) group" I think just "In the final group" works fine.
- "Despite going slower than Turvey in the track's first sector, Di Grassi" should this be a lowercase d as it isn't the start of a sentence?
- That's correct. MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "but heavily locked his tyres which meant he qualified in second place." This almost makes me think locking tyres is worth a one-place grid penalty. Perhaps something like "but heavily locked his tyres, eventually qualifying in second place." would work better?
- "The three drivers, who were allowed to use the boost, were determined by a fan vote." I don't think the commas are necessary here, though American and British English are different so don't worry if I'm mistaken.
- "a 90 percent of change of rain was forecast before the event" Should this be "a 90 percent chance of rain"?
- "while Vergne set the fastest lap of the race so far" "so far" makes this sound more like live commentary. Perhaps "while Vergne set what was at that point the fastest lap of the race"?
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "Evans was issued with a five-second time penalty" I don't think "with" is necessary here.
- "while Rosenqvist set the race's fastest lap (and overall track record) at one minute and 9.467 seconds" should this be noted as a "race" track record since they went faster in qualifying?
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- "His team was concerned over his battery overheating which Buemi stated" -> "His team was concerned over his battery overheating; Buemi stated"
No issues in the Classification sections or references that I could spot. On hold for the standard seven days. -- Bcschneider53 ( talk) 23:11, 11 June 2017 (UTC)
- @ Bcschneider53: Thank you for another review. All of the above issues have been dealt with. MWright96 (talk) 12:46, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
- @ MWright96: Not a problem. Great job. Pass for GA. You may well have a Good or Featured Topic on your hands if you keep this up. -- Bcschneider53 ( talk) 15:52, 12 June 2017 (UTC)