Hello! As this is the only darts article out of your outstanding nominations, I might as well review this one. Please keep in mind that I have not written any darts articles. Also, feel free to correct me if I make a mistake in regards to terminology or sourcing.
Lead
"in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey." - the "in the English county" seems redundant. I think "In Frimley Green, Surrey" would sound better (unless you're trying to indicate it was an English tournament).
"The British Darts Organisation (BDO) was formed in 1973 by the administrator Olly Croft and the BDO World Darts Championship was first held in 1978" - SportsPro says Croft is a managing director, not administrator. I don't think they're the same role. Done
Also, the sentence doesn't seem to flow well to my ears as it sounds like two separate sentences joined together with "and". Perhaps this would need to be split into two sentences, but it could be just me. Done
"The 2001 tournament was held between 6 and 14 January 2001 in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey and it was the first of 44 BDO-sanctioned events in 2001" - seems redundant mentioning 2001 three times when, in my opinion, once would suffice.
WDF says the tournament was held in Frimley, not Frimley Green. As they are two different cities, a different/extra source would be needed to verify it was Frimley Green. Done
Also, WDF doesn't have the county name, only city. Done
I count 45 events in the Embassy Darts source (exlcuding duplicates) not 44. Unless the World Professional Championship International Play-offs in November doesn't count?
British Darts Organisation is talking about the 2002 tournament, not 2001 based on the source talking about the 25th edition, not 24th. Therefore, a new source is needed to verify the 24th edition. Done
The source also says 32 players will play in the Skol event. Skol sponsored the 2001 PDC World Darts Championship, not BDO. So I don't understand why Skol is mentioned in this source if Embassy sponsored the BDO tournament. If this is referring to a different tournament, then a new source is needed for the 32 players. Done
Since the British Darts Organisation source is pointing to the wrong year, King seeded #1, Hankey seeded #7 and the play-off round are not verified with this source. While this does have 27 qualifying players in 2002, the new source needs to include this as well for 2001.
Based on the new BDO source (2001), it doesn't say Hankey was the reigning champion, only that he was seeded seventh. Either this part needs to be dropped or with an extra source. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:05, 14 October 2019 (UTC)reply
" The number of sets needed to win a match increased with each successive round," - not 100% accurate. the first and second rounds each had five sets, while quarter and semi finals were each nine, therefore it didn't increase in "each" round.
New source to verify BBC was the broadcaster, Embassy sponsored the event, and the prize fund was £189,000 for the 2001 event, not 2002 per the BDO source.
The 2001 source says it was sponsored by Imperial Tobacco Ltd, not Embassy. Yes, I know Embassy is a brand under Imperial, but the source says Imperial was the sponsor. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC) Donereply
Also, the prize fund is under a different header "Record breaking prize money for Embassy 2001" in the source. While the header won't effect the GA review, I thought I should mention it. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"Hankey said he was confident that he would not become a player who won the event and be unable to repeat that success," - This sounds like an odd wording. Do you mean Hankey was sure he would be able to win the event again and not only once?
Based on the inclusion of the Mastercaller source:
I don't think "the top 27 automatically" qualified, as only 1-8 were seeded and
the rest don't have seeds.
I think the BDO source that lists the 27 players needs to be put next to the Mastercaller list to show 27 + 5 players. Otherwise, the Mastercaller source alone doesn't show any qualifying matches nor winners. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:16, 16 October 2019 (UTC)reply
How about "27 players automatically qualified" instead of the top 27? BDO doesn't give a ranking for players 9-27. The Embassy line-up source does say they outright qualified. I know I'm going back and forth with this sentence. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
23:22, 18 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"In this round King was 2–0 behind Chris Mason when he won three sets in a row to take a 3–2 victory after Mason missed two consecutive game-winning opportunities on the double 18 ring in the third set." - long sentence that should be broken up into two. Also comma after round. Done
"After Davies lost two legs in the fourth set, he won the third leg to return to contention" - Scotland on Sunday doesn't say who won which legs in the fourth set for Davies's and Walton's match. Another source needed. Done
"number five seed Co Stompé beat Andy Smith 3–1 to prevent Smith from avenging his loss to Stompé from the 2000 tournament." - I suggest spliting this from the Porter/Richardson match as it's long combined.
"England international captain Martin Adams" - Embassy Darts doesn't say he has captained in international events, just that he's a captain for England. Maybe also specify what he was the captain of, as I had to look it up.
"Two-time finalist Ronnie Baxter took a win by the same scoreline" - The Independent source doesn't say Baxter had appeared in the final twice before the 2001 event, but the Embassy Darts source does. So I suggest bundling them. Done
Any particular reason why the final score for Crooks/Baxter isn't there? Done
Have now added 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
"Robson produced a 100 checkout to take the second set and a maximum score in the fifth leg of the third set gave Van Barneveld the lead and he took the match 3–1 in the fourth set." - two separate sentences please because of the "and" twice. Done
"Peter Hinkley took a 3–2 win over Nick Gedney as both players took each of the match's sets" - it was 3-1, not 3-2. Also not sure what you mean "both players took each of the match's sets" if four of out of five sets were played. Done
"In a match which was interrupted by the first streaker in darts history and led to a twenty-minute stoppage while security removed her from the Lakeside Country Club and for players to refocus Hankey achieved six maximum scores and an average 31.34 per dart thrown to whitewash Lakeside debutant Greatbatch 3–0." - Very long sentence that needs to be broken up.
This also sounds way too detailed and sounds detached from the previous paragraph. Hinkley's and Gedney's final score appears in the second paragraph before any details of the match appears in parapgraph three. I think these need to be connected together while making sure there's no overemphasizing the streaking event.
"preventing Taylor from advancing to the tournament's second round for the first time since the 1994 edition" - it wasn't the first time he failed to reach the second round according to BBC Sport (Painter polishes off Jenkins) and Taylor's wiki page.
"preventing Taylor from again advancing to the tournament's second round for the first time since the 1994 edition." - sounds contradictory with "the first time". I think "the first time" would need to be dropped since he hadn't advanced to the second round from 1995-2001.
"Sixth seed Kevin Painter...first time since the 1994 edition" - now reading this, it sounds too wordy in just one sentence, especially with the mention of back pain. I think this would need multiple sentences. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:30, 17 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"after which Stompé did not attribute his loss to a poor performance caused by an inaccuracy in his throw from having his darts stolen from his pocket at an autograph session." - sounds odd grammatically especially after the whitewash part. I suggest breaking this part into a new sentence or two while making it clearer what happened.
I don't see Stompé specifically mentioning that having his darts stolen didn't effect him. If you're trying to say the whitewash happened cause he threw with darts that weren't his, I think this is the Times suggesting it, not Stompé. Per the quote "but throwing with unfamiliar darts undoubtedly affected his accuracy."
"A checkout of 121 from King was required to prevent Walton from winning four legs in a row" - This sounds like King needed to achieve a checkout of 121, instead of that he actually did it. So this would be reworded to past tense.
"Walton responded to win the first two sets." - If Walton won three legs in a row (presumably), that'd mean he already have won the first set. So he didn't win the first two sets after King's 121 checkout.
I see you added an Embassy source that showed Walton's win and score in the second set. That works for me as this happened after King's 121 checkout. Done --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:40, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
" Walton took the first leg of the third set" - shouldn't the winner of the second set be mentioned too? I know it's cause of the previous edits. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
23:32, 22 October 2019 (UTC) Donereply
"Walton won three legs in a row in the third set" - BBC isn't clear that Walton won three legs in a row in set three. He won the first and last leg for sure, and I can't confirm if he won a middle one.
Okay, but the specific score is not there for Walton, only Stompé. Therefore it's not 100% confirmed, though I know it's right. Extra source please. Same issue with King winning leg 2 of set 3. Again, I could have missed it. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:36, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"Pusa achieved the highest average of per dart thrown score of the tournament at that stage of 33.77 in defeating Porter 3–1 while Baxter was the highest seeded player to enter the next stage of the tournament when he took a victory over Adams by the same scoreline." - long sentence that I suggest breaking into two. Done
"highest average of per dart thrown score of the tournament at that stage" - I think this could be rewording for clarity especially with the "of the tournament at that stage". I understand what you're saying, but it sounds longwinded.
"and lost two legs en route to a 3–0 whitewash" - I'm not sure where specifically Embassy says Hinkley won two legs throughout the entire match. I see at least one win "Hinkley made a match of it in the third" but not two. Did I miss it? --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
21:12, 17 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"Walton won the first leg on the opening set in his match against Pusa" - Walton won the first set, not first leg, before the failed nine dart finish in the second set.
"Nevertheless, Walton took four consecutive sets" - nevertheless sounds like a synonym of But per words to watch (editorializing) and needs to be removed. Done
In that particular source, it states "An 11-darter from Barneveld was followed with the same from Hankey and Barneveld was in pole position in leg five." An 11-darters means a player won that particular leg by throwing eleven darts.
MWright96(talk)05:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)reply
From that paragraph, this was in set seven, not four per the final sentence "allowed the Englishman in to go 4-3 up at his next visit." Therefore, the 11 dart finish doesn't below to that sentence. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:30, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"A fifth set whitewash returned Hankey to the lead until Van Barneveld again levelled the score to force a final set decider." - not exactly right. Van Barneveld did tie the set 3-3 but the game ended 5-4. So the 3-3 tie didn't force a final set, as there was at least 2 sets left. If you're referring to the 4-4 tie, then it'd need to be clarified.
"and become the first player to enter the final" - Scotland on Sunday isn't clear which semi-final match came first, so I can't agree Walton was the first finalist based on the other BBC Sport source. New source is needed for this specific part only. Done
"It was Walton's first BDO World Darts Championship triumph and his second major title following the Winmau World Masters in December 2000" - BBC Sport doesn't say it was Walton's first World darts championship wint nor was the Winmau World Masters win his second major title. New source needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
02:14, 18 October 2019 (UTC)reply
I don't think champion needs a capital. Also, I think "15th BDO World Darts Champion" would need to be rephrased to say he was the 15th player to win, as this was the 24th edition. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:21, 19 October 2019 (UTC)reply
" Walton achieved a maximum score on his first try of the match," - I don't see any mention of Walton's maximum in the BBC Sport final source, only Hankey's.
"the sixth set was disjointed with both players sharing the opening four legs" - embassy darts doesn't mention this. Only "legs went with the darts for the first four legs", and doesn't say who won which leg. Done
"and enabled women players to avoid having to compete with men in the International Play-Offs (which they had done since 1995)." - I think "enabled" and "avoid" might be non-neutral. A slight tweak could be needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:49, 14 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Also " (which they had done since 1995)" sounds like a side-comment. I suggest removing the brackets. Done
BDO doesn't state that the total prize fund for the women's tournament was £8,000, only that the winner received £4,000. Extra source is needed.
I see this part was reworded. Works for me. Done
"third (and last) seeded player." - redudnant with third and last, especially with the bracket part. I think either third or last would be enough. Done
"Notwithstanding Howat being unable to win any legs" - sounds like editorializing based on "notwithstanding". This part would need to be reworded to be neutral.
"Solomons won the first leg and Hoensellar responded by winning the second before the former took the third and fourth legs to win the first set" - sounds like a long sentence. Could this be split into two sentences for grammar? Done
"Hoensellar produced a maximum score to force a final set decider." - I don't think this is 100% how it went. Hoesnellar hit a maximum score, then after she "held her throw" (not sure what it means) which resulted in set 3. Done
"A 66 checkout gave Solomons the early advantage," - close paraphrasing in terms of word choice and order. Done
"which Hoensellar nullified by claiming the second and third legs." - the source isn't clear who won leg 2 and 3 per the quote "but legs went with the throw to 2-2.".
"Hosensellar missed the double 16 ring and a 96 checkout from Solomons secured her a berth in the final." - this sounds like Hosenellar missed the 96 checkout, even thought Solomons made the checkout. Done
"to move into a position of advantage and compiled scores of 94, 100 and a maximum as she lowered the points she required for victory to 127." - very long sentence that i suggest breaking into two (i shorten the quote to show the gist of it).
" Gulliver became aware that throwing six darts was needed" - sounds like editorialzing even though that's the tone The Times used. I think this should be reworded for neutrality.
Men's runner up prize amount was £23,000, not £24,000 according to Telegraph & Argus Done
The source also does not mention the prize amounts for semifinalist, quarterfinalist, last 16, last 32 nor 9 dart checkout. Additional source is needed. Done
I see you added a source for the men's event prize amounts. Darts Database says the Last 16 prize was £3,900 not £4,000 flat. Also, quarterfinalists received £5,000 not £5,500 while semifinalists got £10,000 not £10,500. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
17:45, 16 October 2019 (UTC)reply
There are a few errors with the average dart scores based on the Mastercaller source. In the first round, King, Mason, and Davies have incorrect averages. For the second round, only Pusa has a wrong average. However, the quarterfinals to final are all good. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
17:37, 16 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Coote is accidentally written as seeded #5 in round 1, but says Stompe is seeded #5 in round 2. I know Stompe is #5 based on earlier cited sources. Therefore, you might want to add an extra source for this part as this BBC source is not 100% accurate. Done
I'm wondering why Crissy Howat's seed is not mentioned in the women's draw while Gulliver and Hoenselaar's seed are. It makes sense to leave Solomon blank as she was unseeded. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
01:46, 13 October 2019 (UTC) Donereply
I'll review the rest throughout the next couple of days or so. Feel free to comment here if you have any questions during this review. I'll let you know once I've fully reviewed the article. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
01:44, 12 October 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: As there are some points that either haven't been addressed, plus since I've added some comments, I'll put this review on hold. I will be continuing going through what has been already done. It's taking a bit longer to tick them off than I thought since it's a long article lol. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:47, 19 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Leftover points
Lead: "in Frimley Green in Surrey" redundancy, BBC broadcaster singular not plural, Imperial/Embassy sponsor - all Done
Background: Frimley Green/Surrey redundancy, 44 or 45 BDO events, Hankey reigning champion source needed, minor correction with number of sets in quarter/semi finals, Imperial sponsored the event, Hankey grammar. - all Done
New issues with background: top 27 automatically entered and winners of qualifying matches per the Mastercaller source
First round: redundancy issue in Smith and Stompé's match, grammar/spelling issue listing the final four matches.
Second round: grammar issue with Hinkley's whitewash loss, various issues with Walton's and King's match
Quarterfinals: For Hankey and Van Barnveld, source not backing up the 11-dart finish in the fourth leg. Also in their match, there were two ties, not one after the fifth leg whitewash.
Prize fund: minor corrections for prize amounts in the men's events based on the Darts Database source.
Draw: handful of errors with dart averages in the first and second round based on the Mastercaller source.
Women's semi-finals: source isn't clear who won leg 2 - 4 in the final set for Solomons and Hoensellar.
Update
@
MWright96: As this is the last of the 7 day hold, thought I should make an update for this. Most of this article is done. What's left to be done is:
Second round "Walton then overcame a minor challenge from King" - neturality issue Done
Women's semi-final - it isn't clear that Hoensellar won the second and third leg in the final set with the Embassy Darts source. Done
The streaker sentences to see if it's not too overally detailed.
I think the sentences are fine except for "and for players to refocus" as this doesn't seem to be supported. Yes Hankey and Greatbatch were "unsettled" but it doesn't say they settled down during the 20 minute break. So I suggest dropping this part only. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)reply
The wording of Taylor not being able to advance to the second round since 1994.
Okay. I think this still needs rewording with "from again advancing past the tournament's second round for the first time". From 1994 - 2001, Taylor never made it to the second round. And "again advancing past the tournament's second round" isn't right cause 1995-2001 he only made it to the first round, not second. Still rewording needed. I know this sentence is being difficult to clarify. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)reply
These three points I require to think over. I'll let you know if I think these need work on or not. Therefore, I'm willing to keep this open for a couple of more days, and reassessing after.
@
MWright96: Alright. There's a minor spacing issue with "theEngland captain" but that's not enough to prevent this article to be passed (as spacing isn't a requirement). Also, I don't see any issues in regards to stability and images. Therefore, I will pass this article. Very well done! --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
19:19, 28 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Hello! As this is the only darts article out of your outstanding nominations, I might as well review this one. Please keep in mind that I have not written any darts articles. Also, feel free to correct me if I make a mistake in regards to terminology or sourcing.
Lead
"in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey." - the "in the English county" seems redundant. I think "In Frimley Green, Surrey" would sound better (unless you're trying to indicate it was an English tournament).
"The British Darts Organisation (BDO) was formed in 1973 by the administrator Olly Croft and the BDO World Darts Championship was first held in 1978" - SportsPro says Croft is a managing director, not administrator. I don't think they're the same role. Done
Also, the sentence doesn't seem to flow well to my ears as it sounds like two separate sentences joined together with "and". Perhaps this would need to be split into two sentences, but it could be just me. Done
"The 2001 tournament was held between 6 and 14 January 2001 in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey and it was the first of 44 BDO-sanctioned events in 2001" - seems redundant mentioning 2001 three times when, in my opinion, once would suffice.
WDF says the tournament was held in Frimley, not Frimley Green. As they are two different cities, a different/extra source would be needed to verify it was Frimley Green. Done
Also, WDF doesn't have the county name, only city. Done
I count 45 events in the Embassy Darts source (exlcuding duplicates) not 44. Unless the World Professional Championship International Play-offs in November doesn't count?
British Darts Organisation is talking about the 2002 tournament, not 2001 based on the source talking about the 25th edition, not 24th. Therefore, a new source is needed to verify the 24th edition. Done
The source also says 32 players will play in the Skol event. Skol sponsored the 2001 PDC World Darts Championship, not BDO. So I don't understand why Skol is mentioned in this source if Embassy sponsored the BDO tournament. If this is referring to a different tournament, then a new source is needed for the 32 players. Done
Since the British Darts Organisation source is pointing to the wrong year, King seeded #1, Hankey seeded #7 and the play-off round are not verified with this source. While this does have 27 qualifying players in 2002, the new source needs to include this as well for 2001.
Based on the new BDO source (2001), it doesn't say Hankey was the reigning champion, only that he was seeded seventh. Either this part needs to be dropped or with an extra source. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:05, 14 October 2019 (UTC)reply
" The number of sets needed to win a match increased with each successive round," - not 100% accurate. the first and second rounds each had five sets, while quarter and semi finals were each nine, therefore it didn't increase in "each" round.
New source to verify BBC was the broadcaster, Embassy sponsored the event, and the prize fund was £189,000 for the 2001 event, not 2002 per the BDO source.
The 2001 source says it was sponsored by Imperial Tobacco Ltd, not Embassy. Yes, I know Embassy is a brand under Imperial, but the source says Imperial was the sponsor. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC) Donereply
Also, the prize fund is under a different header "Record breaking prize money for Embassy 2001" in the source. While the header won't effect the GA review, I thought I should mention it. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"Hankey said he was confident that he would not become a player who won the event and be unable to repeat that success," - This sounds like an odd wording. Do you mean Hankey was sure he would be able to win the event again and not only once?
Based on the inclusion of the Mastercaller source:
I don't think "the top 27 automatically" qualified, as only 1-8 were seeded and
the rest don't have seeds.
I think the BDO source that lists the 27 players needs to be put next to the Mastercaller list to show 27 + 5 players. Otherwise, the Mastercaller source alone doesn't show any qualifying matches nor winners. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:16, 16 October 2019 (UTC)reply
How about "27 players automatically qualified" instead of the top 27? BDO doesn't give a ranking for players 9-27. The Embassy line-up source does say they outright qualified. I know I'm going back and forth with this sentence. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
23:22, 18 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"In this round King was 2–0 behind Chris Mason when he won three sets in a row to take a 3–2 victory after Mason missed two consecutive game-winning opportunities on the double 18 ring in the third set." - long sentence that should be broken up into two. Also comma after round. Done
"After Davies lost two legs in the fourth set, he won the third leg to return to contention" - Scotland on Sunday doesn't say who won which legs in the fourth set for Davies's and Walton's match. Another source needed. Done
"number five seed Co Stompé beat Andy Smith 3–1 to prevent Smith from avenging his loss to Stompé from the 2000 tournament." - I suggest spliting this from the Porter/Richardson match as it's long combined.
"England international captain Martin Adams" - Embassy Darts doesn't say he has captained in international events, just that he's a captain for England. Maybe also specify what he was the captain of, as I had to look it up.
"Two-time finalist Ronnie Baxter took a win by the same scoreline" - The Independent source doesn't say Baxter had appeared in the final twice before the 2001 event, but the Embassy Darts source does. So I suggest bundling them. Done
Any particular reason why the final score for Crooks/Baxter isn't there? Done
Have now added 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
"Robson produced a 100 checkout to take the second set and a maximum score in the fifth leg of the third set gave Van Barneveld the lead and he took the match 3–1 in the fourth set." - two separate sentences please because of the "and" twice. Done
"Peter Hinkley took a 3–2 win over Nick Gedney as both players took each of the match's sets" - it was 3-1, not 3-2. Also not sure what you mean "both players took each of the match's sets" if four of out of five sets were played. Done
"In a match which was interrupted by the first streaker in darts history and led to a twenty-minute stoppage while security removed her from the Lakeside Country Club and for players to refocus Hankey achieved six maximum scores and an average 31.34 per dart thrown to whitewash Lakeside debutant Greatbatch 3–0." - Very long sentence that needs to be broken up.
This also sounds way too detailed and sounds detached from the previous paragraph. Hinkley's and Gedney's final score appears in the second paragraph before any details of the match appears in parapgraph three. I think these need to be connected together while making sure there's no overemphasizing the streaking event.
"preventing Taylor from advancing to the tournament's second round for the first time since the 1994 edition" - it wasn't the first time he failed to reach the second round according to BBC Sport (Painter polishes off Jenkins) and Taylor's wiki page.
"preventing Taylor from again advancing to the tournament's second round for the first time since the 1994 edition." - sounds contradictory with "the first time". I think "the first time" would need to be dropped since he hadn't advanced to the second round from 1995-2001.
"Sixth seed Kevin Painter...first time since the 1994 edition" - now reading this, it sounds too wordy in just one sentence, especially with the mention of back pain. I think this would need multiple sentences. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:30, 17 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"after which Stompé did not attribute his loss to a poor performance caused by an inaccuracy in his throw from having his darts stolen from his pocket at an autograph session." - sounds odd grammatically especially after the whitewash part. I suggest breaking this part into a new sentence or two while making it clearer what happened.
I don't see Stompé specifically mentioning that having his darts stolen didn't effect him. If you're trying to say the whitewash happened cause he threw with darts that weren't his, I think this is the Times suggesting it, not Stompé. Per the quote "but throwing with unfamiliar darts undoubtedly affected his accuracy."
"A checkout of 121 from King was required to prevent Walton from winning four legs in a row" - This sounds like King needed to achieve a checkout of 121, instead of that he actually did it. So this would be reworded to past tense.
"Walton responded to win the first two sets." - If Walton won three legs in a row (presumably), that'd mean he already have won the first set. So he didn't win the first two sets after King's 121 checkout.
I see you added an Embassy source that showed Walton's win and score in the second set. That works for me as this happened after King's 121 checkout. Done --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:40, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
" Walton took the first leg of the third set" - shouldn't the winner of the second set be mentioned too? I know it's cause of the previous edits. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
23:32, 22 October 2019 (UTC) Donereply
"Walton won three legs in a row in the third set" - BBC isn't clear that Walton won three legs in a row in set three. He won the first and last leg for sure, and I can't confirm if he won a middle one.
Okay, but the specific score is not there for Walton, only Stompé. Therefore it's not 100% confirmed, though I know it's right. Extra source please. Same issue with King winning leg 2 of set 3. Again, I could have missed it. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:36, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"Pusa achieved the highest average of per dart thrown score of the tournament at that stage of 33.77 in defeating Porter 3–1 while Baxter was the highest seeded player to enter the next stage of the tournament when he took a victory over Adams by the same scoreline." - long sentence that I suggest breaking into two. Done
"highest average of per dart thrown score of the tournament at that stage" - I think this could be rewording for clarity especially with the "of the tournament at that stage". I understand what you're saying, but it sounds longwinded.
"and lost two legs en route to a 3–0 whitewash" - I'm not sure where specifically Embassy says Hinkley won two legs throughout the entire match. I see at least one win "Hinkley made a match of it in the third" but not two. Did I miss it? --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
21:12, 17 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"Walton won the first leg on the opening set in his match against Pusa" - Walton won the first set, not first leg, before the failed nine dart finish in the second set.
"Nevertheless, Walton took four consecutive sets" - nevertheless sounds like a synonym of But per words to watch (editorializing) and needs to be removed. Done
In that particular source, it states "An 11-darter from Barneveld was followed with the same from Hankey and Barneveld was in pole position in leg five." An 11-darters means a player won that particular leg by throwing eleven darts.
MWright96(talk)05:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)reply
From that paragraph, this was in set seven, not four per the final sentence "allowed the Englishman in to go 4-3 up at his next visit." Therefore, the 11 dart finish doesn't below to that sentence. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:30, 25 October 2019 (UTC)reply
"A fifth set whitewash returned Hankey to the lead until Van Barneveld again levelled the score to force a final set decider." - not exactly right. Van Barneveld did tie the set 3-3 but the game ended 5-4. So the 3-3 tie didn't force a final set, as there was at least 2 sets left. If you're referring to the 4-4 tie, then it'd need to be clarified.
"and become the first player to enter the final" - Scotland on Sunday isn't clear which semi-final match came first, so I can't agree Walton was the first finalist based on the other BBC Sport source. New source is needed for this specific part only. Done
"It was Walton's first BDO World Darts Championship triumph and his second major title following the Winmau World Masters in December 2000" - BBC Sport doesn't say it was Walton's first World darts championship wint nor was the Winmau World Masters win his second major title. New source needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
02:14, 18 October 2019 (UTC)reply
I don't think champion needs a capital. Also, I think "15th BDO World Darts Champion" would need to be rephrased to say he was the 15th player to win, as this was the 24th edition. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:21, 19 October 2019 (UTC)reply
" Walton achieved a maximum score on his first try of the match," - I don't see any mention of Walton's maximum in the BBC Sport final source, only Hankey's.
"the sixth set was disjointed with both players sharing the opening four legs" - embassy darts doesn't mention this. Only "legs went with the darts for the first four legs", and doesn't say who won which leg. Done
"and enabled women players to avoid having to compete with men in the International Play-Offs (which they had done since 1995)." - I think "enabled" and "avoid" might be non-neutral. A slight tweak could be needed. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
18:49, 14 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Also " (which they had done since 1995)" sounds like a side-comment. I suggest removing the brackets. Done
BDO doesn't state that the total prize fund for the women's tournament was £8,000, only that the winner received £4,000. Extra source is needed.
I see this part was reworded. Works for me. Done
"third (and last) seeded player." - redudnant with third and last, especially with the bracket part. I think either third or last would be enough. Done
"Notwithstanding Howat being unable to win any legs" - sounds like editorializing based on "notwithstanding". This part would need to be reworded to be neutral.
"Solomons won the first leg and Hoensellar responded by winning the second before the former took the third and fourth legs to win the first set" - sounds like a long sentence. Could this be split into two sentences for grammar? Done
"Hoensellar produced a maximum score to force a final set decider." - I don't think this is 100% how it went. Hoesnellar hit a maximum score, then after she "held her throw" (not sure what it means) which resulted in set 3. Done
"A 66 checkout gave Solomons the early advantage," - close paraphrasing in terms of word choice and order. Done
"which Hoensellar nullified by claiming the second and third legs." - the source isn't clear who won leg 2 and 3 per the quote "but legs went with the throw to 2-2.".
"Hosensellar missed the double 16 ring and a 96 checkout from Solomons secured her a berth in the final." - this sounds like Hosenellar missed the 96 checkout, even thought Solomons made the checkout. Done
"to move into a position of advantage and compiled scores of 94, 100 and a maximum as she lowered the points she required for victory to 127." - very long sentence that i suggest breaking into two (i shorten the quote to show the gist of it).
" Gulliver became aware that throwing six darts was needed" - sounds like editorialzing even though that's the tone The Times used. I think this should be reworded for neutrality.
Men's runner up prize amount was £23,000, not £24,000 according to Telegraph & Argus Done
The source also does not mention the prize amounts for semifinalist, quarterfinalist, last 16, last 32 nor 9 dart checkout. Additional source is needed. Done
I see you added a source for the men's event prize amounts. Darts Database says the Last 16 prize was £3,900 not £4,000 flat. Also, quarterfinalists received £5,000 not £5,500 while semifinalists got £10,000 not £10,500. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
17:45, 16 October 2019 (UTC)reply
There are a few errors with the average dart scores based on the Mastercaller source. In the first round, King, Mason, and Davies have incorrect averages. For the second round, only Pusa has a wrong average. However, the quarterfinals to final are all good. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
17:37, 16 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Coote is accidentally written as seeded #5 in round 1, but says Stompe is seeded #5 in round 2. I know Stompe is #5 based on earlier cited sources. Therefore, you might want to add an extra source for this part as this BBC source is not 100% accurate. Done
I'm wondering why Crissy Howat's seed is not mentioned in the women's draw while Gulliver and Hoenselaar's seed are. It makes sense to leave Solomon blank as she was unseeded. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
01:46, 13 October 2019 (UTC) Donereply
I'll review the rest throughout the next couple of days or so. Feel free to comment here if you have any questions during this review. I'll let you know once I've fully reviewed the article. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
01:44, 12 October 2019 (UTC)reply
@
MWright96: As there are some points that either haven't been addressed, plus since I've added some comments, I'll put this review on hold. I will be continuing going through what has been already done. It's taking a bit longer to tick them off than I thought since it's a long article lol. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
00:47, 19 October 2019 (UTC)reply
Leftover points
Lead: "in Frimley Green in Surrey" redundancy, BBC broadcaster singular not plural, Imperial/Embassy sponsor - all Done
Background: Frimley Green/Surrey redundancy, 44 or 45 BDO events, Hankey reigning champion source needed, minor correction with number of sets in quarter/semi finals, Imperial sponsored the event, Hankey grammar. - all Done
New issues with background: top 27 automatically entered and winners of qualifying matches per the Mastercaller source
First round: redundancy issue in Smith and Stompé's match, grammar/spelling issue listing the final four matches.
Second round: grammar issue with Hinkley's whitewash loss, various issues with Walton's and King's match
Quarterfinals: For Hankey and Van Barnveld, source not backing up the 11-dart finish in the fourth leg. Also in their match, there were two ties, not one after the fifth leg whitewash.
Prize fund: minor corrections for prize amounts in the men's events based on the Darts Database source.
Draw: handful of errors with dart averages in the first and second round based on the Mastercaller source.
Women's semi-finals: source isn't clear who won leg 2 - 4 in the final set for Solomons and Hoensellar.
Update
@
MWright96: As this is the last of the 7 day hold, thought I should make an update for this. Most of this article is done. What's left to be done is:
Second round "Walton then overcame a minor challenge from King" - neturality issue Done
Women's semi-final - it isn't clear that Hoensellar won the second and third leg in the final set with the Embassy Darts source. Done
The streaker sentences to see if it's not too overally detailed.
I think the sentences are fine except for "and for players to refocus" as this doesn't seem to be supported. Yes Hankey and Greatbatch were "unsettled" but it doesn't say they settled down during the 20 minute break. So I suggest dropping this part only. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)reply
The wording of Taylor not being able to advance to the second round since 1994.
Okay. I think this still needs rewording with "from again advancing past the tournament's second round for the first time". From 1994 - 2001, Taylor never made it to the second round. And "again advancing past the tournament's second round" isn't right cause 1995-2001 he only made it to the first round, not second. Still rewording needed. I know this sentence is being difficult to clarify. --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)reply
These three points I require to think over. I'll let you know if I think these need work on or not. Therefore, I'm willing to keep this open for a couple of more days, and reassessing after.
@
MWright96: Alright. There's a minor spacing issue with "theEngland captain" but that's not enough to prevent this article to be passed (as spacing isn't a requirement). Also, I don't see any issues in regards to stability and images. Therefore, I will pass this article. Very well done! --
MrLinkinPark333 (
talk)
19:19, 28 October 2019 (UTC)reply