The first thing that stood out to me is that in most cases, you have several references clustered together. Is there a reason for that?
With some of the news articles, sometimes I used a citation just for a small bit. Sometimes they appeared in multiple sentences. I thought it would look best having the references listed at the end of the paragraph/thought. ♫
Hurricanehink (
talk)
14:53, 12 July 2019 (UTC)reply
"a powerful tropical cyclone in the Bay of Bengal that killed 285 people" - But the infobox says 350
"including at least 126 fishermen from Thailand who were sailing in the region; hundreds of fishermen were lost and presumed killed." - These two clauses look like they are saying the same thing
I know I just asked you to potentially cut something from the lead, but I think the section overall is a bit on the short side. This wasn't the worst cyclone ever and a not terribly interesting meteorologically, but surely that opening could be expanded a bit
"The cyclone moved ashore near the Bangladesh/Myanmar border," - I seem to remember you telling me not to use slashes. Say Bangladesh–Myanmar border instead
"M Alimullah Miya. Cyclone Disaster Mitigation in Banglades" - You left out an 'n' for the author's last name and forgot the 'h' on the end of Bangladesh
"United Nations Department of Humanitarian Affairs (Report). May 1994" - Why not write out the exact date (May 6, 1994) rather than just the month and year?
The first thing that stood out to me is that in most cases, you have several references clustered together. Is there a reason for that?
With some of the news articles, sometimes I used a citation just for a small bit. Sometimes they appeared in multiple sentences. I thought it would look best having the references listed at the end of the paragraph/thought. ♫
Hurricanehink (
talk)
14:53, 12 July 2019 (UTC)reply
"a powerful tropical cyclone in the Bay of Bengal that killed 285 people" - But the infobox says 350
"including at least 126 fishermen from Thailand who were sailing in the region; hundreds of fishermen were lost and presumed killed." - These two clauses look like they are saying the same thing
I know I just asked you to potentially cut something from the lead, but I think the section overall is a bit on the short side. This wasn't the worst cyclone ever and a not terribly interesting meteorologically, but surely that opening could be expanded a bit
"The cyclone moved ashore near the Bangladesh/Myanmar border," - I seem to remember you telling me not to use slashes. Say Bangladesh–Myanmar border instead
"M Alimullah Miya. Cyclone Disaster Mitigation in Banglades" - You left out an 'n' for the author's last name and forgot the 'h' on the end of Bangladesh
"United Nations Department of Humanitarian Affairs (Report). May 1994" - Why not write out the exact date (May 6, 1994) rather than just the month and year?