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Review started |08:47, 22 August 2009 (UTC)| Vinay84 ( talk) 08:47, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
Synthesis section is too Verbose.
Eg: the explosions of joy amongst the Jewish community were counterbalanced by the expression of discontent amongst the Arab community
can be sinmplified to: say ; "Jews became happy and/though Arabs were left discontent".
Also, it can be merged with the background section
Reference in Footnote no 3 is an invalid link. IT supposedly refers to the UN resolution
Too many Duplicate statements. "...joy of the Jewish community were counterbalanced by ..." statement appears again in "Beginning of the Civil War" section in a modified form.
Vinay84 ( talk) 09:59, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
The Review is now Finished, Important points of the conflict are well covered, but there are some strong statements which need sourcing.They possibly came about during Translation from French.
Sections/topics with separate articles like the various individual operations can have smaller Summaries.
I have put the nomination on Hold for a week till 1 October 2009 0500 GMT.
Vinay84 ( talk) 12:24, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
Lot of time given for the article to be improved. Not much change seen. Failing the article
Vinay84 (
talk) 04:40, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Review started |08:47, 22 August 2009 (UTC)| Vinay84 ( talk) 08:47, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
Synthesis section is too Verbose.
Eg: the explosions of joy amongst the Jewish community were counterbalanced by the expression of discontent amongst the Arab community
can be sinmplified to: say ; "Jews became happy and/though Arabs were left discontent".
Also, it can be merged with the background section
Reference in Footnote no 3 is an invalid link. IT supposedly refers to the UN resolution
Too many Duplicate statements. "...joy of the Jewish community were counterbalanced by ..." statement appears again in "Beginning of the Civil War" section in a modified form.
Vinay84 ( talk) 09:59, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
The Review is now Finished, Important points of the conflict are well covered, but there are some strong statements which need sourcing.They possibly came about during Translation from French.
Sections/topics with separate articles like the various individual operations can have smaller Summaries.
I have put the nomination on Hold for a week till 1 October 2009 0500 GMT.
Vinay84 ( talk) 12:24, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
Lot of time given for the article to be improved. Not much change seen. Failing the article
Vinay84 (
talk) 04:40, 12 September 2009 (UTC)