I will be reviewing this article against the
WP:GAC. As I have a non-expert level knowledge of collegiate football, be aware there may simply be a few clarification questions. I look forward to reviewing this article. --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 03:40, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Very close, see below for prose review. --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 04:11, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Prose review
Lead
The captained by squad member Frank Hill. I think that's supposed to say "The squad was captained..."
Yep. I have no clue how I fumbled that up so badly.
Prelude
I would like some clarification: The game slowly developed, with new rules being added. Do we know when football got to the rules it was in 1883? Did it slowly develop from 1869 to 1883 or was there an earlier point? Did the new rules that were added bring the game closer to what we know now as college football?
I tried to clarify that. During the early 1870s, a bunch of rules were adopted to make the game more safe and more like a competition, so I tried to mention that.
You use the phrase ...at most likely an unused drill field on the Naval Academy campus. multiple times throughout the article. Can this be attributed to a
WP:RS? If not it would seem to be borderline
WP:OR. If there is not a reliable source, I would recommend removing the instances of this phrase from the article, and if necessary adding a note that says something to the effect of: "An official playing field was not established at the Naval Academy until XXXX."
Yes, there is a source supporting the statement. Ref. 6 (Kiland and Howren) is what is supposed to be supporting that. I haven't seen the book in a while, but approximately what was in the book is: "Before 1890, games played at the Naval Academy were likely hosted on an unused drill or parade field".
Season summary
Through out the article you use the date 1883, but in this section you list the date as November 29, 1882. I assume this is a typo and should read 1883?
Yep. Corrected.
In the fifth sentence of this section you use three quotes starting with "began in heat and discussion." I believe these quotes are from the reference at the end of the sentence (a print one so I will
WP:AGF on its inclusion), but can these be attributed to someone? Were these quotes from a person in attendance of the event? Like a reporter or student or coach? Or are these quotes from the 2000 book, where the author was not present at the game, and would therefore be better replaced by a summarized version?
Yes, the quotes were from a reporter. In the book, an untitled article from the Baltimore American (written by an unknown reporter) was included, and all quotes are directly from the article.
References
All of the online references seem to check out, and I will
WP:AGF on the print sources.
Just a few minor issues and a few clarifications and I think this article is where it should be. I look forward to your responses. --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 04:11, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the review. I have attempted to address your concerns, most of which I should have caught myself. Thanks again, - Awardgive. Help out with
Project Fillmore County 05:05, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Thanks for your clarifications, everything looks good. I'm going to pass this. Great job! --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 13:56, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
I will be reviewing this article against the
WP:GAC. As I have a non-expert level knowledge of collegiate football, be aware there may simply be a few clarification questions. I look forward to reviewing this article. --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 03:40, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Very close, see below for prose review. --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 04:11, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Prose review
Lead
The captained by squad member Frank Hill. I think that's supposed to say "The squad was captained..."
Yep. I have no clue how I fumbled that up so badly.
Prelude
I would like some clarification: The game slowly developed, with new rules being added. Do we know when football got to the rules it was in 1883? Did it slowly develop from 1869 to 1883 or was there an earlier point? Did the new rules that were added bring the game closer to what we know now as college football?
I tried to clarify that. During the early 1870s, a bunch of rules were adopted to make the game more safe and more like a competition, so I tried to mention that.
You use the phrase ...at most likely an unused drill field on the Naval Academy campus. multiple times throughout the article. Can this be attributed to a
WP:RS? If not it would seem to be borderline
WP:OR. If there is not a reliable source, I would recommend removing the instances of this phrase from the article, and if necessary adding a note that says something to the effect of: "An official playing field was not established at the Naval Academy until XXXX."
Yes, there is a source supporting the statement. Ref. 6 (Kiland and Howren) is what is supposed to be supporting that. I haven't seen the book in a while, but approximately what was in the book is: "Before 1890, games played at the Naval Academy were likely hosted on an unused drill or parade field".
Season summary
Through out the article you use the date 1883, but in this section you list the date as November 29, 1882. I assume this is a typo and should read 1883?
Yep. Corrected.
In the fifth sentence of this section you use three quotes starting with "began in heat and discussion." I believe these quotes are from the reference at the end of the sentence (a print one so I will
WP:AGF on its inclusion), but can these be attributed to someone? Were these quotes from a person in attendance of the event? Like a reporter or student or coach? Or are these quotes from the 2000 book, where the author was not present at the game, and would therefore be better replaced by a summarized version?
Yes, the quotes were from a reporter. In the book, an untitled article from the Baltimore American (written by an unknown reporter) was included, and all quotes are directly from the article.
References
All of the online references seem to check out, and I will
WP:AGF on the print sources.
Just a few minor issues and a few clarifications and I think this article is where it should be. I look forward to your responses. --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 04:11, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the review. I have attempted to address your concerns, most of which I should have caught myself. Thanks again, - Awardgive. Help out with
Project Fillmore County 05:05, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply
Thanks for your clarifications, everything looks good. I'm going to pass this. Great job! --
ТимофейЛееСуда. 13:56, 13 January 2014 (UTC)reply