This article is within the scope of WikiProject Norway, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Norway on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.NorwayWikipedia:WikiProject NorwayTemplate:WikiProject NorwayNorway articles
Reviewer:MathewTownsend (
talk·contribs) 19:44, 28 August 2012 (UTC)
Hi, I'll review this article. It looks very good, skimming through it, so I expect no problems.
MathewTownsend (
talk) 19:44, 28 August 2012 (UTC)reply
review
"is located south-east in Pasvikdalen in southern Sør-Varanger, Norway." - does "south-east refer to where it is in Pasvikdalen? i.e. it's in south-east Pasvikdalen? Or is something else meant?
"the adjacent Øvre Pasvik Landscape Protection Area, Pasvik Nature Reserve, the Russian part of the nature reserve and Finland's Vätsäri Wilderness Area." - does this mean that
Øvre Pasvik Landscape Protection Area, Pasvik Nature Reserve is the Russian part?
perhaps use () like:
"Øvre Pasvik is part of Pasvik–Inari Trilateral Park along with the adjacent Øvre Pasvik Landscape Protection Area, Pasvik Nature Reserve (the Russian part of the nature reserve) and Finland's Vätsäri Wilderness Area. ?
Rephrased to specify that Pasvik Nature Reserve is bilateral. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"supplemented with bog." - adjacent to? along with? intertwined with? along with?
"eastern border crosses through Ivergammevatnet, Revsaksfjellet and Ødevatn" - perhaps you could briefly identify what these are? (I realized later they are lakes, but to the non-Norwegian reader all these name become confusing)
"after 1945 the population on the Russian side was forcefully moved and the area depopulated" - passive voice - who forcefully moved them? (per
Wikipedia:Manual of Style (words to watch))
"but they halted the prosess as they principally were opposed to all forms of conservation as they wanted all natural resources to be exploited." - who is "they" - also kind of a runon sentence
Replaced "they" with "ministry" and merged the first part of the sentence with the previous. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"in his death year of 1951" - unusual wording - perhaps "in 1951, the year of his death,"?
In retrospect it was a very "Norwegian" way of formulating myself. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
" with the proposal of building a highway" - with the proposal to build? (more grammatical)
"highway up Pasvikdalen to Ivalo, Finland, which would run through the protected area. " - not quite clear to me
Removed the latter bit as it doesn't really seem necessary. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
(will continue)
"The forest has a very slow life cycle, giving typical tree ages of between 300 and 400 year; the oldest recorded tree was 820 years." - perhaps "The age of a typical tree is between 300 and 400 year; the oldest recorded tree is 820 years as of 2012." - "was" indicates the typical tree age of 820 years is no longer true.
Ah, that was because the tree age was recorded in 1896—information which I will add. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"young trees are often killed by moose during winter" - how do moose kill huge trees?
"but the remaining ashes give good conditions for young trees, giving an uneven age distribution of spruce" - does this mean that spruce is taking over the pine forests? (has spruce been mentioned before in the article?)
Sorry, that should be pine (I even noticed that before getting to this bullet). Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
" None of the islands in Ellensvatn have had fires, giving a unique forest composition. - unique in what way?
perhaps remind the reader that Ellensvatn is a lake?
The source does not specify beyond stating that the biosphere is different. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"The lack of spruce is caused by a combination of wildfire and frost as late as June" - unclear - lack of wldfire as late as June? Or should it be "The lack of spruce is caused by a combination of frost as late as June and wildfire.
Is all spruce Norway Spruce? or are there other spruces there also?
I'm no biologist and the source is using the term "gran".
no:gran links to "Norway Spruce" (and not "spruce") and as far as I am aware there are no other species of spruce in the area. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
" Pasvik is one of very few areas in Norway with Laxmann's Shrew." - in Norway where
Laxmann's Shrew is found. ?
"The park is permitted used for reindeer husbandry," - not grammatical - The park permits reindeer husbandry? - who gives the permits? the park? the government?
"All but the latter have arrived since the last glacial period from Lake Inari, where they ultimately came from the Baltic Sea, which at that time consisted of fresh water." - runon sentence - maybe make two sentences out of it? - not sure how to fix it.
Rephrased and a bit shorter, so the run-on shouldn't be an issue. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"The trout came up Pasvikdalen about 8000 BC" is Pasvikdalen a river also?
"The national park has not been organized for recreation." - but then the article describes canoeing, boating, skiiing, walking, camping, hunting, fishing ....
Rephrased to make it clear what is meant, although the original wording is closer to the source. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I've made some edits that you're free to change.
[1]
Thank you very much for the thorough review; the feedback is most appreciated. I have seen to all your comments except one, which I did not understand and which way have been made irrelevant by the misrepresentation of pine as spruce. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I made a few more copy edits which as always you are free to change.
[2]
I left a note on your page re "Eventually seven power stations were built which regulated the entire fall height in the river." I don't know what "regulated entire fall height in the river" means. Can you clarify?
I will trust that you will do so. Everything else looks great.
GA review-see
WP:WIAGA for criteria (and here for what they are not)
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Norway, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Norway on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.NorwayWikipedia:WikiProject NorwayTemplate:WikiProject NorwayNorway articles
Reviewer:MathewTownsend (
talk·contribs) 19:44, 28 August 2012 (UTC)
Hi, I'll review this article. It looks very good, skimming through it, so I expect no problems.
MathewTownsend (
talk) 19:44, 28 August 2012 (UTC)reply
review
"is located south-east in Pasvikdalen in southern Sør-Varanger, Norway." - does "south-east refer to where it is in Pasvikdalen? i.e. it's in south-east Pasvikdalen? Or is something else meant?
"the adjacent Øvre Pasvik Landscape Protection Area, Pasvik Nature Reserve, the Russian part of the nature reserve and Finland's Vätsäri Wilderness Area." - does this mean that
Øvre Pasvik Landscape Protection Area, Pasvik Nature Reserve is the Russian part?
perhaps use () like:
"Øvre Pasvik is part of Pasvik–Inari Trilateral Park along with the adjacent Øvre Pasvik Landscape Protection Area, Pasvik Nature Reserve (the Russian part of the nature reserve) and Finland's Vätsäri Wilderness Area. ?
Rephrased to specify that Pasvik Nature Reserve is bilateral. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"supplemented with bog." - adjacent to? along with? intertwined with? along with?
"eastern border crosses through Ivergammevatnet, Revsaksfjellet and Ødevatn" - perhaps you could briefly identify what these are? (I realized later they are lakes, but to the non-Norwegian reader all these name become confusing)
"after 1945 the population on the Russian side was forcefully moved and the area depopulated" - passive voice - who forcefully moved them? (per
Wikipedia:Manual of Style (words to watch))
"but they halted the prosess as they principally were opposed to all forms of conservation as they wanted all natural resources to be exploited." - who is "they" - also kind of a runon sentence
Replaced "they" with "ministry" and merged the first part of the sentence with the previous. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"in his death year of 1951" - unusual wording - perhaps "in 1951, the year of his death,"?
In retrospect it was a very "Norwegian" way of formulating myself. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
" with the proposal of building a highway" - with the proposal to build? (more grammatical)
"highway up Pasvikdalen to Ivalo, Finland, which would run through the protected area. " - not quite clear to me
Removed the latter bit as it doesn't really seem necessary. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
(will continue)
"The forest has a very slow life cycle, giving typical tree ages of between 300 and 400 year; the oldest recorded tree was 820 years." - perhaps "The age of a typical tree is between 300 and 400 year; the oldest recorded tree is 820 years as of 2012." - "was" indicates the typical tree age of 820 years is no longer true.
Ah, that was because the tree age was recorded in 1896—information which I will add. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"young trees are often killed by moose during winter" - how do moose kill huge trees?
"but the remaining ashes give good conditions for young trees, giving an uneven age distribution of spruce" - does this mean that spruce is taking over the pine forests? (has spruce been mentioned before in the article?)
Sorry, that should be pine (I even noticed that before getting to this bullet). Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
" None of the islands in Ellensvatn have had fires, giving a unique forest composition. - unique in what way?
perhaps remind the reader that Ellensvatn is a lake?
The source does not specify beyond stating that the biosphere is different. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"The lack of spruce is caused by a combination of wildfire and frost as late as June" - unclear - lack of wldfire as late as June? Or should it be "The lack of spruce is caused by a combination of frost as late as June and wildfire.
Is all spruce Norway Spruce? or are there other spruces there also?
I'm no biologist and the source is using the term "gran".
no:gran links to "Norway Spruce" (and not "spruce") and as far as I am aware there are no other species of spruce in the area. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
" Pasvik is one of very few areas in Norway with Laxmann's Shrew." - in Norway where
Laxmann's Shrew is found. ?
"The park is permitted used for reindeer husbandry," - not grammatical - The park permits reindeer husbandry? - who gives the permits? the park? the government?
"All but the latter have arrived since the last glacial period from Lake Inari, where they ultimately came from the Baltic Sea, which at that time consisted of fresh water." - runon sentence - maybe make two sentences out of it? - not sure how to fix it.
Rephrased and a bit shorter, so the run-on shouldn't be an issue. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
"The trout came up Pasvikdalen about 8000 BC" is Pasvikdalen a river also?
"The national park has not been organized for recreation." - but then the article describes canoeing, boating, skiiing, walking, camping, hunting, fishing ....
Rephrased to make it clear what is meant, although the original wording is closer to the source. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I've made some edits that you're free to change.
[1]
Thank you very much for the thorough review; the feedback is most appreciated. I have seen to all your comments except one, which I did not understand and which way have been made irrelevant by the misrepresentation of pine as spruce. Arsenikk(talk) 19:58, 30 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I made a few more copy edits which as always you are free to change.
[2]
I left a note on your page re "Eventually seven power stations were built which regulated the entire fall height in the river." I don't know what "regulated entire fall height in the river" means. Can you clarify?
I will trust that you will do so. Everything else looks great.
GA review-see
WP:WIAGA for criteria (and here for what they are not)