05:3405:34, 4 December 2017diffhist0
m
Wonder Woman
I think "role-model" works much better hyphenated in this case. If you're skimming the sentence/paragraph, the words "role" and "model" pop out too much as potentially relevant words to the article, where the sentence isn't using either word
16:5816:58, 16 March 2017diffhist−16
Ashton Kutcher
The word "unreviewed" isn't balanced or logical. The VV's report *was* a thorough review of a lot of statistics and data. A balanced article needs to respect the opinions of all players, not denounce ANY particular opinion.
8 December 2016
02:1002:10, 8 December 2016diffhist+34
Deflate
"lossless" is extremely important to say right away. I thumbed through the article and wasn't even sure it was lossless, I had to google elsewhere to find out.
19 October 2016
03:0203:02, 19 October 2016diffhist0
m
Off-label use
I hyphenated 2 instances of "off label" to "off-label" in consistency with the rest of the article. I'm leaving one instance off "off label" in a reference because I assume that's in the official title of the reference/article.
21 September 2016
13:4913:49, 21 September 2016diffhist+1
m
ZIP (file format)
adding comma after windows makes the sentence much clearer, otherwise it may mean "running on Windows and WinRAR" as in running on both, not WinRAR being the item of a new list
15 September 2016
06:3906:39, 15 September 2016diffhist0
Green Lantern (film)
changing "Great review" to "mixed review", pulling word "mixed" from the article's own summary "An attempt to infuse an earnest piece of comicbook lore with an irreverent, tongue-in-cheek sensibility yields decidedly mixed results in 'Green Lantern.' "
01:3401:34, 8 August 2016diffhist+1
m
Household income in the United States
"$72,824 with men" may sound like $72,824 is the male average, making the sentence confusing. I had to read the sentence multiple times to figure it out. A comma after $72,824 helps separate it from the male/female specifications.
11:5211:52, 1 August 2016diffhist+50
Clock drift
Without my added "i.e." in parentheses, it's grammatically ambiguous whether "these clocks" implies "people holding clocks inside the field" or "clocks inside and outside the field" (both are correct, but the paragraph is trying to make the latter point)
10:3910:39, 1 August 2016diffhist−1
Leap second
"26 have been scheduled" sounds like they're all upcoming, ie they know the next 26 leap seconds; this line should make clear these have already happened (so I changed "scheduled" to "inserted"). This line is a bit redundant to the first paragraph anyway.
09:4509:45, 8 March 2016diffhist−120
Fortune 500
deleted near-duplicate sentence containing "Edgar P. Smith" and moving references after 2nd instance of sentence to end of first, joined remaining loose sentence with first paragraph
17:3517:35, 8 October 2015diffhist−22
m
Pixel
minor tweak of grammar / "they" was supposed to refer to a noun by original sentence writer, not a person as misinterpreted by someone correcting the sentence, asking "who"?
01:4801:48, 23 May 2015diffhist+10
Halo (franchise)
The console is buried in the lengthy lead, only mentioned once. "Xbox" is only 4 letters; it's perfect to throw in the first sentence
05:3405:34, 4 December 2017diffhist0
m
Wonder Woman
I think "role-model" works much better hyphenated in this case. If you're skimming the sentence/paragraph, the words "role" and "model" pop out too much as potentially relevant words to the article, where the sentence isn't using either word
16:5816:58, 16 March 2017diffhist−16
Ashton Kutcher
The word "unreviewed" isn't balanced or logical. The VV's report *was* a thorough review of a lot of statistics and data. A balanced article needs to respect the opinions of all players, not denounce ANY particular opinion.
8 December 2016
02:1002:10, 8 December 2016diffhist+34
Deflate
"lossless" is extremely important to say right away. I thumbed through the article and wasn't even sure it was lossless, I had to google elsewhere to find out.
19 October 2016
03:0203:02, 19 October 2016diffhist0
m
Off-label use
I hyphenated 2 instances of "off label" to "off-label" in consistency with the rest of the article. I'm leaving one instance off "off label" in a reference because I assume that's in the official title of the reference/article.
21 September 2016
13:4913:49, 21 September 2016diffhist+1
m
ZIP (file format)
adding comma after windows makes the sentence much clearer, otherwise it may mean "running on Windows and WinRAR" as in running on both, not WinRAR being the item of a new list
15 September 2016
06:3906:39, 15 September 2016diffhist0
Green Lantern (film)
changing "Great review" to "mixed review", pulling word "mixed" from the article's own summary "An attempt to infuse an earnest piece of comicbook lore with an irreverent, tongue-in-cheek sensibility yields decidedly mixed results in 'Green Lantern.' "
01:3401:34, 8 August 2016diffhist+1
m
Household income in the United States
"$72,824 with men" may sound like $72,824 is the male average, making the sentence confusing. I had to read the sentence multiple times to figure it out. A comma after $72,824 helps separate it from the male/female specifications.
11:5211:52, 1 August 2016diffhist+50
Clock drift
Without my added "i.e." in parentheses, it's grammatically ambiguous whether "these clocks" implies "people holding clocks inside the field" or "clocks inside and outside the field" (both are correct, but the paragraph is trying to make the latter point)
10:3910:39, 1 August 2016diffhist−1
Leap second
"26 have been scheduled" sounds like they're all upcoming, ie they know the next 26 leap seconds; this line should make clear these have already happened (so I changed "scheduled" to "inserted"). This line is a bit redundant to the first paragraph anyway.
09:4509:45, 8 March 2016diffhist−120
Fortune 500
deleted near-duplicate sentence containing "Edgar P. Smith" and moving references after 2nd instance of sentence to end of first, joined remaining loose sentence with first paragraph
17:3517:35, 8 October 2015diffhist−22
m
Pixel
minor tweak of grammar / "they" was supposed to refer to a noun by original sentence writer, not a person as misinterpreted by someone correcting the sentence, asking "who"?
01:4801:48, 23 May 2015diffhist+10
Halo (franchise)
The console is buried in the lengthy lead, only mentioned once. "Xbox" is only 4 letters; it's perfect to throw in the first sentence