Shaker Junior High School is a public middle school (7th through 8th grade) in Latham, New York, near the state's capital of Albany. As of 2006, it enrolls OVER NINE-THOUSAAANNNDD students. Shaker Junior is part of the North Colonie Central Schools school district, which is consistently ranked as one of the top school districts in New York State. The Junior High's Building Principal is Dr. Russell Mooooooooore. The school is divided into 5 Halls: Houston, Norris, Calhoun, and Clay and Ravenholdt. Shaker Junior has many sports to offer to their students, though most of the students do not care enough to participate in them. ^[1] The schools famous motto is: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Shaker Junior High School feeds on Testicals.

The building principal is Dr. Russell Moore. The Houston and Norris Hall principal is Dawn Savery, and the Clay and Calhoun Hall principal is Michael Mitchell. About 900 students are enrolled in Shaker Junior High School. A variety of sports programs are offered. Also, some Regents courses are available, although not many students are in these classes, with the exception of foreign language. They only go on one field trip every year. This shows how bad their budget is. Niskyuna, on the other hand, has a much better budget. They go on about one field trip every month, though sadly, these field trips are usually horrible failures, including incidents where students such as Rick Astley died tragically.

Houston Hall: Houston Hall is named after Houston, Texas, the leader of Texas when they were a separate country from El Salvador and the United States during the 1800s. Houston has an average GPS of 0.5. The hall color is red.

Calhoun Hall: Calhoun Hall is named after United States Senator Mackenzie Calhoun, fictional Startrek character. Most students in Calhoun are addicted to cocaine, and those that aren't are addicted to meth. The hall color is blue.

Norris Hall: Norris Hall is named after the martial arts expert Chuck Norris. Norris, through a chain of statistics, is known to contain the most homosexuals. The hall color is green.

Clay Hall: Clay Hall is named after United States Senator Luigi, who made many great compromises for the Mushroom Kingdom in the 1800s. Clay has not won a track meet in over 20 years, due to over 90% of their students being morbidly obese.

Ravenholdt: Ravenholdt is known to contain students who have contained the polynomite disease. These students have zombified into man-eating monsters, therefor are forced to be kept locked away in their own cells. The hall color is grey.

Each year, the four halls compete in interhall competitions for points. These competitions include the Faculty Feud, which is a teacher-played game based on the TV game show Family Feud, with the answers being based on student feedback, and the Quiz Bowl, which is an academic competition in which the faculty chooses each hall's top four students for each grade. A big track meet is held in May or June on Shaker's High School's football and track stadium. There is also a Best Buddies race, in which retarded children try to run 30 yards, though most fall on the ground in failure after about 2 seconds in.

Shaker Junior High School currently has a broadcasting studio in which 8th graders chosen by their English teachers from the previous academic year broadcast reports using the equipment in the broadcasting studio. Most students going through these broadcasts have absolutely no acting skill whatsoever. These broadcasts are received in every homeroom on the television set.

• North Colonie Central Schools - district homepage

• Shaker High School
• North Colonie Central Schools
• New York State Education Department