Hi - I would love some feedback on how I can improve this article prior to submission. Any insights are greatly appreciated.
71.229.174.128 ( talk) 16:58, 9 June 2014 (UTC)
- Hi again, JohnKnox77. It looks good to me. I made a number of sentence-level edits and tightened the language in a few places, and consolidated the citations. (I may have missed some--and please double-check that the links still go to your original sources.) Do you have any images to upload once it is accepted? The infobox could use a photo of the founder or of the manufacturing site, and the logo if there is one. All the best! Grand'mere Eugene ( talk) 10:07, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
- After reviewing the article this morning, I suggest moving some information in the Technology section to the History section. (Basically, move anything which has dates.) That should make the remainder easier to filter for promotional tone. If you can describe the technology without naming the exact product, that will also help. I'll check back later today to see how it's going. Best, Grand'mere Eugene ( talk) 16:34, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
- Hi again, JohnKnox77. I also meant to mention--review the infobox and either add the dollar amounts for Revenue and Net Income if you have independently sourced information, or blank those parameters on the template. Getting forgetful, Grand'mere Eugene ( talk) 16:38, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
Hi - I would love some feedback on how I can improve this article prior to submission. Any insights are greatly appreciated.
71.229.174.128 ( talk) 16:58, 9 June 2014 (UTC)
- Hi again, JohnKnox77. It looks good to me. I made a number of sentence-level edits and tightened the language in a few places, and consolidated the citations. (I may have missed some--and please double-check that the links still go to your original sources.) Do you have any images to upload once it is accepted? The infobox could use a photo of the founder or of the manufacturing site, and the logo if there is one. All the best! Grand'mere Eugene ( talk) 10:07, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
- After reviewing the article this morning, I suggest moving some information in the Technology section to the History section. (Basically, move anything which has dates.) That should make the remainder easier to filter for promotional tone. If you can describe the technology without naming the exact product, that will also help. I'll check back later today to see how it's going. Best, Grand'mere Eugene ( talk) 16:34, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
- Hi again, JohnKnox77. I also meant to mention--review the infobox and either add the dollar amounts for Revenue and Net Income if you have independently sourced information, or blank those parameters on the template. Getting forgetful, Grand'mere Eugene ( talk) 16:38, 10 June 2014 (UTC)