- When explaining where it is, say which direction from downtown rather than just 15 km away
- Source for the BC Mountaineering Club being the first group to make a climb
- Source for Mt. Seymour Resorts Ltd. Getting control of the recreation area
- I would change the park recommends that people not feed, torment or approach the wild animals to the park asks. Haven’t looked for sure for this park but most provincial parks actually have laws against feeding the wildlife.
- For invasive plants I would say how they specifically have affected the native ecosystem of Mount Seymour. Are any of the native species in trouble?
- Under facilities just look at your grammar. You’re missing some spaces between periods and the beginning of the next sentence
- Under accidents and rescues, you don’t really expand on the rescue part of things. Is there mountain patrol? Is there any place you can sign in to let people know you are going up? Basically just let us know about the rescue part of things, you say how to prepare for conditions yourself.
- Add your education assignment banner.
-Courtney 20:29, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
Hello! My name is Jinelle and I am here to edit your page, here is the constructive feedback, enjoy!
- History : You've successfully provided information on the background, but I noticed that you need to reference these statements to validity it. For example, cite the Alpine Club of Canada and BC Mountaineering club. Perhaps provide a link of its development as a ski resort, rather then just saying it has potential and now is a ski resort. Elaborate with an external link.
- Geography: Why doesn't Runner's Peak have a link, but all other examples do?
- You state a ton of parks surround it, but what are these parks primarily used for? Are they under the control of Mt. Seymour Resorts too?
- Animals and Wildlife: I would recommend linking organizations that specifically aim to preserve and protect the wildlife at Seymour Mountain.
- Why is the stellar jay BC's official bird? Provide a sentence to describe why and do not use terminology like "happens" because I don't think it was an accident. There has to be some significance! Link and reference it as well.
- Out of curiosity, I would include a section on which animals are commonly encountered and what seasons.
- Vegetation: Link the sub alpine flowers that are commonly seen, it will give the audience easy access to more information.
- What organisms, specifically are harmed by these invasive plants? And how do they specifically impact them? Is there a history of native vegetation disruption due to these plants? What has been done to these invasive plants? Or more importantly, where did they come from?
- Please briefly describes how the Invasive Species Council plans to deal with these invasive species.
- Facilities and Recreation: I think its great your provided a detailed table about the hiking trails available, but you should do the same for the 4 ski lifts you listed. Are these ski lifts difficult, how long are they, where do they start and end.
- I would explain why there are limitation to hikers and mountain bikers on certain parts of the mountain. Yes, it may be obvious but it'd be best to have a certain statement. This section also needs to be rewritten, it was hard to make sense of it.
- You can probably fuse the Hiking and Hiking Trail content together.
- Accidents and Rescues: Not sure if this really relevant... But if so, I would briefly describe who takes responsibility for injuries, how it is handled, or maybe even some statistics on injury would be beneficial (avalanches? deaths? injuries due to off boundary skiing?)
- In the preparation for the weather section, you need to reference it, or else it seems like its your opinion. Also, link it to a reliable source that recommends these equipment in case of emergency. Provide danger zones of Mt Seymour or concrete places to avoid.
- Please reference this Snow Depth Information! Also explain the purpose of these weather stations at 3 different levels (although obvious just indicate why to the reader)
Overall, this is a great starting point. There are minor fixes I would recommend doing as listed above. Please leave a message on my talk page if you have any questions. The biggest thing is to reference everything and anything so it is reliable! Thanks -- JinelleC09 ( talk) 21:43, 19 March 2014 (UTC)
Firstly, I love the amount of pictures put into this page - I think it's the perfect amount. I also like the use of 'for more information' and linking the 'Mount Seymour' page instead of just putting the 'Mount Seymour' page by itself
- I feel like the 'Hiking' and 'Hiking trails' tab can be combined, just cause it feels a little redundant
- The claim 'Mount Seymour is claimed to be one of the top resorts for snowshoeing in North America, hosting a variety of snowshoe trails and snowshoeing programs.' should be backed up in order to not make it seem like an subjective view
- Maybe a huge box on the bottom of the page organizing pages on the rest of the Mountains in BC, and ski resorts would be an easier way for engaged readers to know more about the mountains around here (I think you left out Whistler too)
- Not sure the 'preparation for weather' would be relevant to a page about Mount Seymour, as it can be applied to other mountains too
- If you want to keep the 'Accidents and Rescues' tab, maybe you should talk about news that actually happened rather than an objective collection of things that could happen
- 'Facilities' tab needs a source, but I think you should proof read the page again for other places that could use sources too
- On a last note, I'm not sure if you can fix this but the beginning of the page with the huge white space is really distracting, is there some way you can shift the block of text on the top next to the grey box?
Charlizeriza ( talk) 22:35, 24 March 2014 (UTC)
Hey I'm Kayla and first of all, I'd like to say that the page is coming along really well you guys! It is visually appealing and definitely adds more insight to Mount Seymour than what was available on the pre-existing Wiki page.
Introduction: I think the "for more information" link was a good choice. Just a formatting suggestion, the introduction for the provincial park should be the very first thing on the page, above the content table. The info box with the picture and map was well chosen, however it too should be above the content table as well. Another formatting suggestion is that the introduction does not need its own section divider with a title, as the title of that section will technically be the title of the wiki page. As for the actual writing of the introduction, what you have so far is good, but needs sources. The introduction could also possibly be expanded on, briefly mentioning the generalized topics that you will later elaborate on throughout the page, such as what is located within the park, what types of activities, etc.
History and Geography: History: This section was interesting and well written, good job!
Geography: This section was well written as well, however a visual suggestion I have is to possibly add a table of the mountains within the park, with their elevations, and other respective geographic features to make this section more effective.
Animals and Wildlife: The Wildlife of Mount Seymour: The first sentence sounds a little like its from some type of promotional campaign for Mount Seymour, maybe consider making it more neutral sounding. Other than that, the section was good! I also really like how you included a list of the wildlife, maybe consider some type of photo-set or collage to showcase more of the animals, other than just the Stellar Jay.
Vegetation: Natural vegetation: Well written section! Be consistent with the units of measurement you use throughout the page though, I found that sometimes you used imperial units and sometimes metric. Also, if possible add more clickable links for the listed sub-alpine flowers, as well as more sources for the rest of that paragraph.
Invasive plants: Capitalize the plants mentioned in your list. Also, possibly add links to "bull thistles" and "soil fines" as I was unsure what this sentence meant because I was not familiar with the things mentioned. As well, the "periwinkle" link needs to be fixed as it does not go to the proper page. I also noticed that on my laptop your list and paragraph are fine, but on my iPad it wraps around the image awkwardly, possibly consider resizing the image so that the paragraph doesn't wrap around it.
Facilities: There is a typo I believe at "area as offers. . .", but other than that I thought it was a good summary of the topic. However, you are missing sources for this section, please include them!
Recreation: The main paragraph for this section is well written, however the "hiking" subsection looks awkwardly formatted because it is so short. The use of the table for the hiking trails is really good though! Also, this section as well as "accidents and rescues" both do not have a bolded sub section title for the first paragraphs within the section as all the other sub topics do. Be consistent with your format!
Accidents and rescues: The first paragraph is good, however the "preparation for the Weather" paragraph sounds like something Mount Seymour would write and thus lacks a neutral voice. It also lacks any sources. Also, given the way this paragraph was written, as well as it's subtitle, it doesn't quite seem to fit "accidents and rescues", in my opinion. Possibly just say they are park guidelines or something along those terms?
Snow depth: Need more sources for this paragraph, and possibly include in brackets what BCRFC stands for, or include a link. Aside from that, this section is good!
Broadcasting: Good job on this section you guys, except you still need to include sources! Since the other Mount Seymour page already goes into depth about this section, maybe just add another "for more information" link.
Appearances in Film and Television: Good job on this section as well, aside from its lack of sources. Since these last few sections are rather short, maybe find a way to combine them all, and then just have sub titles that are bolded for these paragraphs.
Overall you guys did a good job, and it's clear that you guys put a good amount of effort into the page, well done :) -- Kaylerz ( talk) 20:15, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
I think this a good page and you have put quite a lot of work into it! However a few improvements would make it a great page. Here are my suggestions for improvement:
- You repeated when the park was established.
- Some of the stuff about the mountain Mount Seymour should not be here unless it is SUPER relevant as it belongs in the Mount Seymour page instead i.e. “ The BC Mountaineering Club was the first group to make any recorded climb up the Mountain in the year 1908. It was not until 1929 that Mount Seymour was seen to be a potential skiing area. The following year members of the Alpine Club of Canada applied for a 21 year lease covering the primary skiing terrain.” If this is relevant to your page then you have to make it clear how it is relevant.
- Any reason why it wasn’t until 1929 they thought to ski there? Seems like some information is missing. Include the information or take the sentence out.
- Change the caption under the stellar jay photo to make it more relevant to your page.
- Surely the area of the park should be right at the start of the page?? This is a pretty fundamental piece of information
- Natural Vegetation: links missing for the plants Blu Clematus,Ballhead Waterleaf and the Cusicks Speedwell Flower. Put these links in.
- Invasive plants: References missing. Find these and put them in.
- “Invasive plants are often handled and dealt with by the Invasive Species Council of Metro Vancouver”. Who are they and what do they do specifically in Mount Seymour Provincial Park? Include a sentence or two explaining this or take this sentence out
- “Mount Seymour is claimed to be one of the top resorts for snowshoeing in North America, hosting a variety of snowshoe trails and snowshoeing programs.” Reference needed!
- You don’t need the section on hiking, just have the hiking trails section with the table and remove the separate hiking section.
- “Large number of visitors” ..Numbers please. How many per year? How many people died, were stranded or injured in 2013
- I am not sure I like the Preparation For Weather section. It reads more like an advice leaflet than an encyclopedia article. Consider rephrasing i.e. it is recommended that …. Including a reference for who recommends it. What about linking to the article hiking equipment?
- Snow Depth section: What is mystery peak chair lift? Not sure the details about the locations of the weather stations are important. I would remove this and make this more general. In fact, why specifically talk about snow depth? If you are going to talk about the weather then talk about other weather i.e. rainfall, sun etc. This bit needs to be better integrated or removed.
I think you guys have put a lot of work into the article and with just a little more work this will article will be around and used by lots of people for years to come!!
RuthVancouver ( talk) 18:40, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
The peer-reviews are all excellent - you should take all their advice in doing your revisions.
There's one big problem. As I think we discussed, there's a serious need for reorganization of the information on the 'Mount Seymour' and 'Mount Seymour Provincial Park' pages. One possibility is to combine them, but I think that's more work than you should take on at this stage. A better (stopgap) alternative is to make your page more clearly about the park (park-specific resources provided by BC Parks, history, how it's used for recreation in both winter and summer, etc) and the other specifically about the mountain. So maybe the ski area information on the Mount Seymour page could be moved to your page. In either case you also need to clarify the relationship between the Park and the commercial entity 'Mount Seymour Resorts' (at mountseymour.com), which controls access to ski facilities in winter and also does some things in summer. What does 'the Recreation Area' mean' and what's a 'Park Use Permit'? This should probably be a separate section.
If you'd like we can have a meeting to discuss how best to handle this.
Minor points: 'blu clematus' should be 'blue clematis'.
- When explaining where it is, say which direction from downtown rather than just 15 km away
- Source for the BC Mountaineering Club being the first group to make a climb
- Source for Mt. Seymour Resorts Ltd. Getting control of the recreation area
- I would change the park recommends that people not feed, torment or approach the wild animals to the park asks. Haven’t looked for sure for this park but most provincial parks actually have laws against feeding the wildlife.
- For invasive plants I would say how they specifically have affected the native ecosystem of Mount Seymour. Are any of the native species in trouble?
- Under facilities just look at your grammar. You’re missing some spaces between periods and the beginning of the next sentence
- Under accidents and rescues, you don’t really expand on the rescue part of things. Is there mountain patrol? Is there any place you can sign in to let people know you are going up? Basically just let us know about the rescue part of things, you say how to prepare for conditions yourself.
- Add your education assignment banner.
-Courtney 20:29, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
Hello! My name is Jinelle and I am here to edit your page, here is the constructive feedback, enjoy!
- History : You've successfully provided information on the background, but I noticed that you need to reference these statements to validity it. For example, cite the Alpine Club of Canada and BC Mountaineering club. Perhaps provide a link of its development as a ski resort, rather then just saying it has potential and now is a ski resort. Elaborate with an external link.
- Geography: Why doesn't Runner's Peak have a link, but all other examples do?
- You state a ton of parks surround it, but what are these parks primarily used for? Are they under the control of Mt. Seymour Resorts too?
- Animals and Wildlife: I would recommend linking organizations that specifically aim to preserve and protect the wildlife at Seymour Mountain.
- Why is the stellar jay BC's official bird? Provide a sentence to describe why and do not use terminology like "happens" because I don't think it was an accident. There has to be some significance! Link and reference it as well.
- Out of curiosity, I would include a section on which animals are commonly encountered and what seasons.
- Vegetation: Link the sub alpine flowers that are commonly seen, it will give the audience easy access to more information.
- What organisms, specifically are harmed by these invasive plants? And how do they specifically impact them? Is there a history of native vegetation disruption due to these plants? What has been done to these invasive plants? Or more importantly, where did they come from?
- Please briefly describes how the Invasive Species Council plans to deal with these invasive species.
- Facilities and Recreation: I think its great your provided a detailed table about the hiking trails available, but you should do the same for the 4 ski lifts you listed. Are these ski lifts difficult, how long are they, where do they start and end.
- I would explain why there are limitation to hikers and mountain bikers on certain parts of the mountain. Yes, it may be obvious but it'd be best to have a certain statement. This section also needs to be rewritten, it was hard to make sense of it.
- You can probably fuse the Hiking and Hiking Trail content together.
- Accidents and Rescues: Not sure if this really relevant... But if so, I would briefly describe who takes responsibility for injuries, how it is handled, or maybe even some statistics on injury would be beneficial (avalanches? deaths? injuries due to off boundary skiing?)
- In the preparation for the weather section, you need to reference it, or else it seems like its your opinion. Also, link it to a reliable source that recommends these equipment in case of emergency. Provide danger zones of Mt Seymour or concrete places to avoid.
- Please reference this Snow Depth Information! Also explain the purpose of these weather stations at 3 different levels (although obvious just indicate why to the reader)
Overall, this is a great starting point. There are minor fixes I would recommend doing as listed above. Please leave a message on my talk page if you have any questions. The biggest thing is to reference everything and anything so it is reliable! Thanks -- JinelleC09 ( talk) 21:43, 19 March 2014 (UTC)
Firstly, I love the amount of pictures put into this page - I think it's the perfect amount. I also like the use of 'for more information' and linking the 'Mount Seymour' page instead of just putting the 'Mount Seymour' page by itself
- I feel like the 'Hiking' and 'Hiking trails' tab can be combined, just cause it feels a little redundant
- The claim 'Mount Seymour is claimed to be one of the top resorts for snowshoeing in North America, hosting a variety of snowshoe trails and snowshoeing programs.' should be backed up in order to not make it seem like an subjective view
- Maybe a huge box on the bottom of the page organizing pages on the rest of the Mountains in BC, and ski resorts would be an easier way for engaged readers to know more about the mountains around here (I think you left out Whistler too)
- Not sure the 'preparation for weather' would be relevant to a page about Mount Seymour, as it can be applied to other mountains too
- If you want to keep the 'Accidents and Rescues' tab, maybe you should talk about news that actually happened rather than an objective collection of things that could happen
- 'Facilities' tab needs a source, but I think you should proof read the page again for other places that could use sources too
- On a last note, I'm not sure if you can fix this but the beginning of the page with the huge white space is really distracting, is there some way you can shift the block of text on the top next to the grey box?
Charlizeriza ( talk) 22:35, 24 March 2014 (UTC)
Hey I'm Kayla and first of all, I'd like to say that the page is coming along really well you guys! It is visually appealing and definitely adds more insight to Mount Seymour than what was available on the pre-existing Wiki page.
Introduction: I think the "for more information" link was a good choice. Just a formatting suggestion, the introduction for the provincial park should be the very first thing on the page, above the content table. The info box with the picture and map was well chosen, however it too should be above the content table as well. Another formatting suggestion is that the introduction does not need its own section divider with a title, as the title of that section will technically be the title of the wiki page. As for the actual writing of the introduction, what you have so far is good, but needs sources. The introduction could also possibly be expanded on, briefly mentioning the generalized topics that you will later elaborate on throughout the page, such as what is located within the park, what types of activities, etc.
History and Geography: History: This section was interesting and well written, good job!
Geography: This section was well written as well, however a visual suggestion I have is to possibly add a table of the mountains within the park, with their elevations, and other respective geographic features to make this section more effective.
Animals and Wildlife: The Wildlife of Mount Seymour: The first sentence sounds a little like its from some type of promotional campaign for Mount Seymour, maybe consider making it more neutral sounding. Other than that, the section was good! I also really like how you included a list of the wildlife, maybe consider some type of photo-set or collage to showcase more of the animals, other than just the Stellar Jay.
Vegetation: Natural vegetation: Well written section! Be consistent with the units of measurement you use throughout the page though, I found that sometimes you used imperial units and sometimes metric. Also, if possible add more clickable links for the listed sub-alpine flowers, as well as more sources for the rest of that paragraph.
Invasive plants: Capitalize the plants mentioned in your list. Also, possibly add links to "bull thistles" and "soil fines" as I was unsure what this sentence meant because I was not familiar with the things mentioned. As well, the "periwinkle" link needs to be fixed as it does not go to the proper page. I also noticed that on my laptop your list and paragraph are fine, but on my iPad it wraps around the image awkwardly, possibly consider resizing the image so that the paragraph doesn't wrap around it.
Facilities: There is a typo I believe at "area as offers. . .", but other than that I thought it was a good summary of the topic. However, you are missing sources for this section, please include them!
Recreation: The main paragraph for this section is well written, however the "hiking" subsection looks awkwardly formatted because it is so short. The use of the table for the hiking trails is really good though! Also, this section as well as "accidents and rescues" both do not have a bolded sub section title for the first paragraphs within the section as all the other sub topics do. Be consistent with your format!
Accidents and rescues: The first paragraph is good, however the "preparation for the Weather" paragraph sounds like something Mount Seymour would write and thus lacks a neutral voice. It also lacks any sources. Also, given the way this paragraph was written, as well as it's subtitle, it doesn't quite seem to fit "accidents and rescues", in my opinion. Possibly just say they are park guidelines or something along those terms?
Snow depth: Need more sources for this paragraph, and possibly include in brackets what BCRFC stands for, or include a link. Aside from that, this section is good!
Broadcasting: Good job on this section you guys, except you still need to include sources! Since the other Mount Seymour page already goes into depth about this section, maybe just add another "for more information" link.
Appearances in Film and Television: Good job on this section as well, aside from its lack of sources. Since these last few sections are rather short, maybe find a way to combine them all, and then just have sub titles that are bolded for these paragraphs.
Overall you guys did a good job, and it's clear that you guys put a good amount of effort into the page, well done :) -- Kaylerz ( talk) 20:15, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
I think this a good page and you have put quite a lot of work into it! However a few improvements would make it a great page. Here are my suggestions for improvement:
- You repeated when the park was established.
- Some of the stuff about the mountain Mount Seymour should not be here unless it is SUPER relevant as it belongs in the Mount Seymour page instead i.e. “ The BC Mountaineering Club was the first group to make any recorded climb up the Mountain in the year 1908. It was not until 1929 that Mount Seymour was seen to be a potential skiing area. The following year members of the Alpine Club of Canada applied for a 21 year lease covering the primary skiing terrain.” If this is relevant to your page then you have to make it clear how it is relevant.
- Any reason why it wasn’t until 1929 they thought to ski there? Seems like some information is missing. Include the information or take the sentence out.
- Change the caption under the stellar jay photo to make it more relevant to your page.
- Surely the area of the park should be right at the start of the page?? This is a pretty fundamental piece of information
- Natural Vegetation: links missing for the plants Blu Clematus,Ballhead Waterleaf and the Cusicks Speedwell Flower. Put these links in.
- Invasive plants: References missing. Find these and put them in.
- “Invasive plants are often handled and dealt with by the Invasive Species Council of Metro Vancouver”. Who are they and what do they do specifically in Mount Seymour Provincial Park? Include a sentence or two explaining this or take this sentence out
- “Mount Seymour is claimed to be one of the top resorts for snowshoeing in North America, hosting a variety of snowshoe trails and snowshoeing programs.” Reference needed!
- You don’t need the section on hiking, just have the hiking trails section with the table and remove the separate hiking section.
- “Large number of visitors” ..Numbers please. How many per year? How many people died, were stranded or injured in 2013
- I am not sure I like the Preparation For Weather section. It reads more like an advice leaflet than an encyclopedia article. Consider rephrasing i.e. it is recommended that …. Including a reference for who recommends it. What about linking to the article hiking equipment?
- Snow Depth section: What is mystery peak chair lift? Not sure the details about the locations of the weather stations are important. I would remove this and make this more general. In fact, why specifically talk about snow depth? If you are going to talk about the weather then talk about other weather i.e. rainfall, sun etc. This bit needs to be better integrated or removed.
I think you guys have put a lot of work into the article and with just a little more work this will article will be around and used by lots of people for years to come!!
RuthVancouver ( talk) 18:40, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
The peer-reviews are all excellent - you should take all their advice in doing your revisions.
There's one big problem. As I think we discussed, there's a serious need for reorganization of the information on the 'Mount Seymour' and 'Mount Seymour Provincial Park' pages. One possibility is to combine them, but I think that's more work than you should take on at this stage. A better (stopgap) alternative is to make your page more clearly about the park (park-specific resources provided by BC Parks, history, how it's used for recreation in both winter and summer, etc) and the other specifically about the mountain. So maybe the ski area information on the Mount Seymour page could be moved to your page. In either case you also need to clarify the relationship between the Park and the commercial entity 'Mount Seymour Resorts' (at mountseymour.com), which controls access to ski facilities in winter and also does some things in summer. What does 'the Recreation Area' mean' and what's a 'Park Use Permit'? This should probably be a separate section.
If you'd like we can have a meeting to discuss how best to handle this.
Minor points: 'blu clematus' should be 'blue clematis'.